


Five Years

by Ady1234Ady



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Lexa (The 100), Alpha Roan (The 100), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Betrayal, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, G!P, Hurt/Comfort, Intersex Lexa (The 100), Lexa/Roan Friendship, Omega Clarke Griffin, Omega Octavia Blake, Omega Raven Reyes, Sad Ending, Titus is a good guy, Werewolf Mates, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 47,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ady1234Ady/pseuds/Ady1234Ady
Summary: Lexa reflects back on the last five years of her life. During this time she met her mate, loved her, betrayed her and fought to get her back.This is her love story as told through her eyes.Takes place in season 2 during and after the missile attack on TonDC."As I lay here surrounded by lush green forest bleeding to death, a gash carved by a sword on my side making it difficult to breathe.....What happened between us was incredible, that night in the cave even amidst the chaos and destruction, my soul had been at peace in recognizing my mate. It was her and I knew it was her by her scent, the smell of lavender and honey filled my lungs and it became my favorite scent....my heart was racing and beating uncontrollably and my mind was screaming the words, "Mate! Mate!"
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Roan, Lexa & Raven Reyes, Lexa/Raven Reyes
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to this. This is my first fic so I hope you'll like it. It's not going to be a lot of chapters, maybe 4 - 5. I'll see as the story progresses. I'm definitely not the best writer so whatever mistakes there are, are mines.  
> I hope you all like it!

As I lay here surrounded by lush green forest littered with acorns from the pine trees and the songs of birds under a setting sun bleeding to death, a gash carved by a sword on my side making it difficult to breathe, blood seeping from the sides of my mouth and nose, I reflect back on the life I've lived and for a long time, I've wished I could've turn back time and fixed my mistakes, for the last part of the life I've lived was never what I wanted but I had to accept it. 

My story of love and loss began many years ago, precisely five years ago. It all started when I formed an alliance with a very beautiful blonde to help rescue both our people. Her name was Clarke and she was a young and determined leader, all she wanted was to get her people back from the Maunon. I related to her sentiment because for years, the Mountain Men took my people, turned them into flesh eating savages and drained them of their blood. All was going well when one of her people by the name of Bellamy Blake infiltrated the Mountain Men's bunker and managed to inform us of a missile strike headed our way to TonDC where there was a meeting between my coalition and her people, Skaikru. Clarke wanted to warn us but she couldn't come so her best friend, Raven came to warn us. She gave us just enough time to extricate most of our people from the surrounding area. There were casualties but thank the spirits it was only a small number. In all the chaos to remove our people from the soon to be affected area, Raven and I got lost and ended up in a cave a couple of miles away from the damaged area. I knew instantly the moment I saw her, she was special. There was something about her that called to my inner wolf but in the disorder of moving and trying to save lives, that thought ended up in the back of mind. 

However, what happened between us was incredible, that night in the cave even amidst the chaos and destruction, my soul had been at peace in recognizing my mate. It was her. It was Raven and I knew it was her by her scent, the smell of lavender and honey filled my lungs and it became my favorite scent. She was also beautiful even more than Clarke but maybe that's because my heart was racing and beating uncontrollably and my mind was screaming the words, "Mate! Mate!" She had gorgeous, warm brown eyes - soulful eyes, the kind of eyes you could stare all day and get lost in if they let you. Her lips were luscious and all I wanted to do was latch onto them to suck and nibble while granting me access to thrust my tongue into her and taste her sweetness. Adding to her beauty was her body, it was smaller than mines about an inch or two but with supple, elegant curves uniquely omega that called to my alpha. 

At first, I didn't want to believe she was my mate, not because it was so but because I thought I had found a mate in Costia but when she was taken from me I thought that I would never find another love. I had given up, but love had not given up on me. It was at this precise moment while staring at her face and my inner alpha instincts telling me I'd found my mate that I realized she was in heat and I was in rut. I had heard of spontaneous heat and rut but never experienced it until now. It happens when both mates find each other and there is an instant and overwhelming attraction. Her omega pheromones were broadcasting to kingdom come trying to get any alpha's attention but I was there, _I_ was her alpha and my pheromones as well we're broadcasting, and she was there, _she_ was my omega. I thought that maybe she would've rejected me seeing as though we barely knew each other, but she didn't. In fact while I was staring at her beauty her mind was telling her I was her mate too. She told me that my scent - pine and fresh rain was intoxicating and beckoning her to submit to her alpha and so, we both submitted to our mate call, that innate knowledge of finding the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with, the one person that completes you, the one person who alone can make or break you, the one person our mother Selene, the moon goddess made especially for us. And so in that cave we spent three days knowing each other's hearts and souls because that's what we were to each other - our souls. 

Our bodies melded into each other, soft lips explored every inch of our bodies, there were sighs, moans and grunts as we became one, sweet whispers poured out of our mouths. Sheathed inside her tight walls, was a religious experience, the tightness in which she milked my cock pulling me deeper into her, hearing her soft moans, lifting her hips as I thrusted into her, her nails scratching at my back and my inner wolf puffing out her chest at the knowledge that it was _us_ giving our omega such pleasure. When I felt my knot started forming I knew I was close and I could feel her climax coming too. I gently pulled out of her and turned her around and she presented for me. My inner wolf howled with happiness in my head at the knowledge that this is our omega, our soul, our mate, the future mother of our pups presenting for us, a silent invitation of her trust in me. And it was with that knowledge that I inserted my knot stretching her walls and tying myself to her. I felt her tremble as she came and bent down, my canines extended as I bit down on her neck, claiming her, tasting her sweet blood filled my mouth. When I retracted my teeth she turned around and bit my neck claiming me as well. I felt the instant connection, our souls becoming one, a bond being formed as we both came.

My people frantically looking for me had thought I didn't survive, so when I showed up after three days with my mate sporting fresh claiming marks they were relieved. Of course I did have Indra and Gustus reprimanding me for not informing them of where I was. I didn't owe them any explanation but I understood their concerns so I let them know that I was with my mate and everyone knows that when mates have mated they just want to be with each other. In the end however, they were glad that their mighty Heda, Lexa kom Triku had found her mate and to boot Raven was the demolition and mechanical expert of Skaikru. While I continued speaking with Indra and Gustus, I saw my mate talking with Clarke and Octavia, both girls were omegas and they seemed happy for her, for us. I saw Clarke and Octavia hug her and gave her a kiss on her cheek. I know it was meant as a friend's or even sisterly kiss, but my alpha wasn't happy. A small growl escaped my mouth and the three of them looked at me with a no-nonsense look on their faces at my possessiveness. 

Raven came up to me and kissed on my cheek, "Don't worry babe, Clarke and O are like my sisters, both of them are happy for me so that's why they were hugging me. Relax okay?" She said.

"My love, I am not a babe, I am a grown woman. Why do you refer to me as a small child?" I started to feel agitated at the idea of my mate thinking I was a child and especially referring to me like that in front of my people. She let out a small chuckle and I was so enthralled at the sound of my mate, I forgot why I wasn't happy with her reference to me in the first place.

"It's a term of endearment alpha. It's like how you call me my love. We usually use the word babe or baby. It doesn't mean we think of the other person as a child. We use it to express love and happiness," she responded. I understood and simply nodded looking at her gorgeous eyes and upturned lips and unconsciously I smiled, "Okay baby," I replied and she threw her head back laughing and hugged me.

After our first mild misunderstanding of love terminology, we had to get back to business - the business of rescuing our people. After, waiting for a couple of days, Bellamy made contact with Raven and informed her that it was clear for us to get our people back but he forgot to mention the acid fog. After some debate it was decided that Raven and Wick were going to go to the dam and cut off the bunker's source of power and destroy it so that we can finally open the main entrance and get our people back. I wasn't keen on the idea of having my mate accompanied by an alpha much less into a dam alone to bring down the power but I understood that it needed to be done however my possessiveness over my mate was strong.

So I went to look for her before she left in one direction and I on the other. When I found her, she was packing the last of the explosives in her backpack. I gently pulled her to me and buried my face in her neck inhaling her scent trying to calm myself. After a moment I started trailing kisses on her chin then down her neck and finally giving sweet attention to her claiming mark, sucking and gently nipping at it. She moaned and hugged me tighter, "Please, my love be careful. I need to know that you'll be safe. I wish I could be there with you but I have to go with my warriors on the other side," I pleaded.

She took this time to lift her head that was buried in the crook of my neck inhaling my scent as well and looked at me, "I will, I promise. I don't want to be far from you. I feel sad and lonely when I am not around you. I can feel our bond getting stronger. Promise me that when all of this over, you and I will be together always alpha," she said.

I looked at those brown, soulful eyes and I saw my home, my hearth to keep me warm on cold, wintery nights, "When this is over, you and I will be together loving each other. You'll wake up in my arms every morning and at night I will put you body to sleep with sweet, tender, loving caresses and kisses. _You_ are _my_ mate. Our goddess made us especially for each other. Don't ever forget that," cupping her cheeks I continued, "I will never want anyone else, only you, my soul," I solemnly replied. After more kissing and sweet nothings, we left our camp heading for the mountain to get our people back.

What happened next was one of my biggest mistakes. I betrayed Clarke and her people and in the process lost my mate. I knew at the time, I was committing a mistake but the past Commanders in my head kept telling me that, "The duty to protect my people comes first," and so I repeated the words to Clarke after I had taken the Maunon's deal. I walked away from Raven, Clarke and Skaikru and as I did my heart broke to pieces because I knew, I knew that Raven wouldn't forgive me, but, somehow I had hope, at least a little hope that our bond was strong enough for her to forgive me. And so I walked back to my camp with my warriors and my people. The sick were attended to and my army started making their way home. I stayed behind to see if Raven would come to me and she did, after two days she did. I had almost given up hope but she came. As she entered my tent I noticed she was limping. I growled at the pain she must be feeling. What had happened to make her limp like that? I started going to her but she raised her hand in the air as a gesture to stop so I did. "Baby, what happened to your leg?" I asked with a worried frown. She just looked at me, I could see she was sad. She had black rings around her puffy, red eyes from crying. My heart ached. I knew I was the cause of her pain but still I maintained hope that we can be together. 

"You seriously are going to ask what happened? God, you're unbelievable you know that? I'm limping because after you abandoned me, the mountain men captured me, took me inside their bunker, strapped me to a gurney and started drilling holes into my pelvic bone to get to my bone marrow. If it had not been for Abby I probably would've had a hole in my hip! And if that wasn't enough, you forced Clarke to kill an entire group of people all by herself in order to save me, her mother and my people! Yet you stand here like it was nothing! I can't believe you'd do that especially to me, your mate. You told me I was 'your soul.' I guess that was just empty words huh? Well guess what Lexa, I don't want a mate who says she loves me and then turns around and betrays me. Do you have any idea how heartbroken I am? How much it hurts everytime I think about you and what you did? How sad I am because of what you did? Clarke didn't come back from Mount Weather and I've no idea where she is or if she is fine. We are all worried and you are just here just looking fine and dandy as the mighty Heda!" She yelled at me. I just stood there not saying anything because I didn't know what to say. Before I could open my mouth and speak she continued, "I can't do this! I just can't! You are hurting me. I feel divided between my people and you and quite frankly I've just had enough so I'm letting you go." 

"Letting me go but why, how?" I asked frantically, my heart beating erratically inside my chest. 

"I Raven Reyes reject you Lexa Kom Triku as my mate. I don't ever want to see you again," she said with tears in her eyes as she walked out of my tent and out of my heart. 

I could feel my heart physically hurt at her rejection. It felt like multiple stab wounds to my heart and a crippling pain settled all over my body. I doubled over in pain and let my tears fall down my face. "What have I done?" I asked myself. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> So, here are somethings that I wanted to mention for this chapter.  
> 1.) Clexa conversations are mostly canon to the series but I added a few things.  
> 2.) The Grounders have a strong belief in the moon goddess and seek her help for guidance usually through prayer.

I returned to Polis a liberator to my people, but inside I was dead, I was a shell of myself. My people were happy to be reunited with family members and constantly praised my efforts in getting our people back. My flamekeeper, advisor and mentor Titus, an alpha, congratulated me, calling it a success. He was a family man, his mate Myra, a beta and two young pups were his world and he became like a father to me as well. When I was devastated by Costia's death, he was there for me mourning alongside my pain, consoling me. He often encouraged me to find a mate, to settle down and form a family so that I didn’t spend my life alone. 

"You shouldn't spend your life alone, especially when you're so young, Heda. Who knows, maybe there’s somebody out there just waiting for you to love them, a person, the moon goddess made just for you," he often told me, but I refused to listen because I thought Costia was my mate. Now, I know better. The months passed and I continued being the strong Heda to my people. I was in meetings, addressing the needs and concerns of my people, the coalition progressed nicely, clans were helping one another; there was unity and collaboration and all the while, I was in pain. At night, when I was alone in my quarters, memories of Raven would haunt me. I remembered her touches, caresses, lips, body, scent. The warmth of her skin, her soulful eyes, her moans, groans and grunts as I thrusted into her. Just remembering made me hard. I’d often found release pumping my cock moaning her name as I came. I wanted to be inside her, I wanted to feel her writhe beneath me as plunged into her, I wanted my mate, I wanted Raven so I decided to get her back. Somehow I had to find a way. Titus said that Heda knelt before no one, but for Raven I would. I would even beg if I needed to. Whatever she wanted, I would do. I made a big mistake when I betrayed her and Skaikru because I put my head before my heart, a mistake I won't do again. I would even lay down my life if she asked me too. I promised myself I would find a way for Raven to be MINE! 

As if the moon goddess herself had made it so, an opportunity arose a couple of days after. While in a meeting with the ambassadors, talks began of a bounty that Nia, queen of Azgeda had set up to capture Wanheda. Naturally, I was intrigued, I wanted to know who Wanheda was so I asked Titus to inquire. Not long after he came back and informed me that Wanheda was none other than Clarke. She had acquired the title after what she did at Mount Weather.

At this point, three months had passed since my betrayal, so I had my good friend, Prince Roan of Azgeda summoned to my throne room. Roan and I had been good friends for many years. His banishment wasn’t really a banishment; we just pretended it was so he can be away from his mother and be my spy. He knew what she did to Costia and that only motivated him more to leave, so we came up with a “banishment.” He knew how she thought and how she planned her many raids and executions, how she tortured and abused her people, all the horrors she had committed. He tried to overpower her, but his people were too scared of her, so they sided with their queen immediately, blaming him for her crimes and allowing me to “banish” him. Since then, he has been a bounty hunter, not the best job but it did offer an opportunity to gather information from people who otherwise wouldn’t freely talk to their Heda and rather spoke to him since they thought that Roan and I didn’t get along. When he arrived in my throne room, we greeted each other with a warm hug, joke for a while then I proceeded to tell him about Clarke. The reason why I wanted him to find her as soon as possible was because I was afraid Nia got to Clarke first and killed her in order to get Wanheda’s powers and so he immediately accepted, not wanting his mother to kill another innocent person and was off. 

While I waited for Roan to come back with Clarke, I had spoken with Titus and told him that I wanted Raven back and I needed his help in forming a very strong case so that I can get her back and for Skaikru and Clarke to join the coalition. After some days of thinking and going through every detail and scenario Titus could come up with to solidify Skaikru into the coalition, he came and told me his proposal. 

“Inform her that you want Skaikru to become the thirteenth clan. They will automatically fall under Heda’s protection and no one will raise a hand against them because doing so is going against you,” he said straightforwardly. I thought about what he said, but still felt like it wouldn’t be enough so I told him my concerns and after deliberating some more, “Heda, what if you somehow instill the idea of fear into her. What I’m trying to say is, use Nia’s reputation as a weapon to instill fear into Wanheda. Claim that if they refuse, you cannot protect them because they are not part of the coalition and as such you cannot put the lives of your people at risk for her clan, they are in a sense of the word invaders to your lands. They might have their weapons and that of the Mountain Men but what happens when all that is finished? What then? How will they defend themselves?” he said. I thought about his words, pondering if threatening them really was a good idea since I couldn't come up with anything else. I had already betrayed them, threatening them kinda seemed like the final nail in the coffin, however I was desperate so I thought that maybe his plans just might work. 

"All right let's go with that," I plainly told him. 

Two weeks later, as I was standing in the throne room with Titus, Roan and Clarke came walking in but there was something different about them. I couldn’t quite place it so I started running over their features until I saw it. Claiming bites; they were mates. Oh thank the goddess she was safe and that Roan was her mate. I knew he would protect her no matter what however, I could see Clarke wanted to kill me. The fire full of hatred in her eyes was very evident and frankly quite justified for what I did was wrong and cruel and she had every reason to want me dead. Not giving anything away, I simply walked up to her, “I'm sorry it had to be this way. I had to ensure  _ Wanheda _ didn't fall into the hands of the Ice Queen. I need you, Clarke,” I said with a stoic expression on my face. What I didn’t expect after saying those words was for her to spit on my face but that’s what I got. “Not your finest moment, Clarke” I wryly thought to myself as I wiped the spit from my face. 

“You bitch! You wanted the Commander of Death? You got her! I'll kill you!" Clarke shouted with venom in every word uttered while trying to lunge at me but Roan stopped her, “Hey, calm down! Hey, it's okay. I’m here, I’m with you,” he said as he hugged her tightly to his chest and lightly pecked her cheek. “No one’s killing anyone,” he continued as he kissed her claiming bite. As mates, when we kiss each other’s bites, it helps calm us down and a pleasurable feeling courses through our body. I saw the tender moment between them and I longed to have that with Raven again. I knew I couldn’t blame her for her hatred against me. I deserved it; I was the cause of her pain those many months. Feeling the need to give them some time alone, I asked my guards to escort them to a private guest room. As they were leaving, Roan turned to look at me, “I’ll talk to you later,” he mouthed and I just shook my head in acceptance. Both needed some time alone and as a new mated couple, the need to be together was overwhelming; it's a pull that could not be denied. 

As much as I wanted to get my mate back, I knew that if I pushed Clarke I could lose my chance, so I did nothing. I let a couple of days pass. I told myself that when they’re ready, they’ll talk although to be honest, it was torture wanting to do something but knowing that I couldn’t. It was my only chance. I was either successful or not. 

After a week, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to look for Clarke in her room. She was alone. It wasn’t a warm welcome to say the least.

“What part of I won’t see you was unclear?” she coldly said.

“I respected you and your mate’s space for a week Clarke, but we’ve got bigger concerns.”

“We don’t have any concerns.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Really, so is that why you went to all that trouble to “capture” me? To speak of  _ your _ concerns."

"I went to all that trouble to save you and in the process you found your mate. Had I known Roan was your mate, I would've asked him to find you earlier."

"I’m not discussing Roan with you, but you know when I could've used saving? When you abandoned me in Mount Weather,” she retorted back getting agitated.

"Clearly you didn't need my help,” I said coolly.

"Clearly."

"You're angry, Clarke, but I know you. What you've done haunts you and it's easier to hate me than to hate yourself."

"Oh, I can do both,” she said with venom in her words.

"What would you have done if their leader had offered you the deal? Save your people at the price of mine. Would you really have chosen differently?" I retorted back.

"I don't betray my friends and sure as HELL don’t betray the love of my life, my mate like you did!" she said firmly.

“Damn! That hurt,” I thought to myself as I felt a small jolt of hurt pass through my veins. "But you did. You had friends in Mount Weather,” I responded a little weakly. I was still in pain from what she said before.

"Those deaths are on you too. The only difference is, you have no honor, no remorse for the mate you claimed to love that you betrayed later on and I had no choice,” she said but there was pain in her eyes as she said it. I knew Raven was like her sister and seeing Raven hurt must have also made Clarke heart’s hurt for her sister.

I lowered my head a little so she couldn’t see the small tear in my eye that formed from her words because it was the truth.

After recovering a little, I looked up to see her straight in the eye, “Look, it helps no one to dwell on the past and that’s not why I’m here. You’re right. I know you’ve guessed that I want something. I want your people to become my people. I’m offering Skaikru the chance to join my coalition. Become the thirteenth clan. No one would dare move against you because that would be moving against me. Join me. Bow before me and your people will be safe” I said trying not to sound agitated. 

"Bow before you? You don't give a damn about my people. I know why you're here. I made you look weak at Mount Weather and now the Ice Nation is exploiting that. Well, if you want the power of  _ Wanheda _ , kill me. Take it. Otherwise, go float yourself because I will never bow to you." 

I said nothing so she continued, “I know what you’re doing. All of this that you’re saying is just to get Raven back, isn’t it? Like I said, you don’t give a damn about my people. All you care about is yourself and what is right for you. You know what, just leave me alone. I’m done. Do you understand that? I left,” she said rather exasperatedly with agitated omega pheromones in the air.

“I don’t want to kill you Clarke, I want to help. It’s not only you that will suffer Clarke, it’s your people as well. Do you think Nia will be satisfied with having the power of Wanheda? No, she will want more. She loves power and the more she has the better for her. Don’t you wonder what would happen if she forced your people into her clan? She would have your mother’s medical expertise, your weapons, your technology and your experts, my ma-, Raven. She would have all of them and who knows what she will force them to do. I’m sure Roan has told you what kind of monster his mother is,” I growled back at her. I wanted her to understand that I still cared for Raven, I still loved my mate and I was trying to save all of them and in the process I was trying to get Raven back damn it! 

Her expression changed when I finished talking. I could see the gears in her head working. She was trying to put all the pieces together and slowly realization hit her. She knew I was right. If Nia ever got her hands on her people, they would suffer, they would die and Clarke, just like me would do anything for her people. Before she could say anything I left and told her to seek me out when she had made a decision.

After two days of nothing, I started getting desperate. I wanted an answer now! Titus told me to try and calm down since I was expelling dominant alpha pheromones and forcing anybody close to me to submit, not to mention that I was growling menacingly so I decided to take a walk in the woods outside of Polis to clear my mind. Maybe if I breathe fresh air it will clear my thoughts and I could somehow center myself. I knew I had to give Clarke time, but patience was definitely not one of my virtues! Damn! Why couldn't this woman realize what I told her was the truth? The sooner we acted, the better for everyone. I would hate for Nia to come up with ideas while Clarke decided whether or not to join the coalition. 

"Damn stubborn woman!" I yelled to myself, agitated and ready to hurt someone.

“I hope that stubborn woman is you and not someone else Axel," Roan coolly replied delighted with himself.

Over the time our friendship grew, Roan and I often called each other nicknames. Mines was Axel because it’s Lexa spelled backwards and also worked as an anonymity of sorts to get information. I, in turn, with Titus called him “boy scout” well, since he was a bounty hunter, probably not the best name but that's what Titus and I came up with at the time. I guess that speaks of our ability to make a strong comeback. As for Titus, we nicknamed him “old timer” which made him laugh at first then he got serious and said he wasn’t an old timer but an “experienced timer.” The three of us usually would joke around when we were together. It was our unique family time when we were together. Titus was like a father to both of us and we were as he solely put it, “stubborn dumbasses who couldn’t tell the difference between our elbows and assess children.” Long name we had teased him. His comeback was way worse, we told him, laughing all the while we said it. He settled for “dumbassess” after that.

"Walking around in the same spot for the third time is not gonna make the trees grow faster Axel,” he said with amusement in his voice.

“Yeah I know, it’s just that I need to clear my mind. I feel like I’m gonna go crazy inside the tower and Titus keeps telling me to tap down on my pheromones,” I retorted with a loud sigh not wanting to bad mouth his mate and agitate him.

“I can imagine, but try to calm down. I would hate to learn that Heda blew her gasket from over thinking things. Not your style and the old timer would be justified in calling you a dumbass for that. Furthermore, stop worrying, Clarke will do the right thing. She’s just making you stew in your juices for a couple of days just don’t tell her I told you. She’d kill my ass and you know I have a nice, firm ass!” he said patting his butt with a smirk on his face. I laughed at his action and felt a lightness to my heart. “Goddess, you really make the old timer calling us dumbassess justifiable!” I said lightly chuckling but I was happy, doing my happy dance inside my head. Clarke was going to take my offer! I can get Raven back. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't realize Roan was approaching me.

“The thing is, how are you gonna get your mate back? I know what happened. Clarke told me. I get it, believe me I do. I understand why you did what you did but still, matters of the heart don’t follow reasoning most of the time you know,” he said seriously, all fun aside.

“You’re right, and I have no idea how I’m gonna get her back but I have to. I can’t live without her you know? She’s everything. In the little time we spent, she became everything to me - my world, my life, my reason for living and not just surviving and I screwed it up real badly so much so that she rejected me. How do I change that? How do I make her see that I’m truly sorry. I’m desperate boy scout. I need to get her back, I need her. It’s been four months and still...” I said as tears slipped down my cheeks. I couldn’t continue. I didn’t have to, he knew. 

I felt strong, gentle arms slip around my shoulders and my face rested on a hardened chest and I let my tears fall. I cried for the pain I caused Raven, I cried for the pain I caused Clarke, I cried for the pain I felt, I cried for the knowledge that I may never get her back. What if she had moved on? What if she found someone else? Someone better than me? Someone who would never hurt her but rather put her first like I failed to do? Maybe I should let her go. She deserves someone better than me, someone who won’t hurt her, betray her and make her cry but still I had to try. We stood like that for a long time until he let me go. 

Drying my eyes, I asked, “ What would you do if you were in my place? How’d you’d get her back?”

“Honestly, I don’t know but if I was really desperate, I would borrow a page from my mother’s book. I would use some sort of tactic to bind her to me without her realizing it. I know it sounds harsh and cruel but sometimes, it’s the only way to get the person we love back. Keep in mind though, that sooner or later our little secrets come out and then… well, then there’s a price to pay but I guess you can figure that part out later,” he said. 

A little while later, we left the forest heading back to the tower. My mind was on what he had told me but I felt a bit doubtful, yet determined to get Raven back but deceiving her to be with me was definitely a no-no. If I did, then I'd lose forever.

As we headed to the entrance of the tower, I jokingly told Roan that my scent would be on his clothes and I wouldn’t want Clarke to think otherwise and maybe he should change. He responded with a knowing smile and told me not to worry. 

The following day, Clarke requested to see me and inform me that she accepted, however, so must her people; she wouldn’t force them if they didn’t want to. It was not what I wanted to hear so as a desperate move I told her that I was willing to be unioned to a member of Skaikru as a symbol of my fidelity to her people. Of course she wasn't a fool and knew right away that I would choose Raven and I didn't deny it.

Two days after, Clarke, Roan, Titus, my personal guards and I made our way to Arkadia. I would personally ask Raven if she wanted to be unioned to me. I wouldn't force her if she didn't, even if my heart would be broken to tiny pieces again. Oh goddess, I hope she accepts.

Right before reaching Arkadia, we were attacked by a small group of well trained warriors. These warriors surrounded us in a circle formation taking turns attacking us in small waves, trying to tire us but my guards were resilient and they wouldn't give up. They would protect their Heda and Flamekeeper no matter what. In the haze of everything, I saw Roan stand in front of his mate to protect her. My guards surrounded Titus and I. I looked over to my mentor, he had a sword in his hand ready to defend and protect me while I had a sword in each hand. No way in hell were we going down without a fight! The attackers found a weak spot in our formation and lunged all at once. All hell broke loose. The clashing of swords and the yelling of orders was all that was heard as we tried to defeat them. The commotion must have alerted Skaikru because soon after gunshots were being heard in the surrounding area. I saw as my guards bravely fought for their lives and the lives of their Heda and a swell of pride flared in my chest that got me distracted when I felt a sharp pain on my neck. I looked up to see the sinister smile of one of the attackers as he removed his blade from my neck. He was taller than me. Spurts of black blood started coming out as I fell to the ground in a kneeling position. I faintly heard Roan scream my name as Titus came running to my side and cradled me in his arms. 

"Hold on Lexa, hold on!" He said, a fearful look in his eyes.

I felt my eyelids starting to get heavy and I fought to keep them open. Life had a way to make your plans change didn't it? I just hoped I could get a last chance to see my girl if only for a second I silently asked the goddess.

"Ain't this some bullshit!" was my last thought as I closed my eyes and was being raced to Arkadia bleeding to death. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what ya'll think?   
> Let me know and excuse any spelling mistakes, I read it like three times before I posted it, but there might still be some spelling/grammar mistakes.   
> And thank you, thank you for all the kudos! I really means a lot :-)  
> See ya'll next week!


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up I was blinded by white, bright light. I quickly closed my eyes again. When I felt I could, I slowly opened them again allowing myself to get used to the bright light and noticed I was inside a white metal room with machines, beeping machines - Arkadia. “What the hell,” I thought. I wanted to speak but I felt a sharp pain when I opened my mouth. My throat felt swollen and dry, like a lump was stuck in it. It hurt to speak so I let out a soft moan. To add to that, my entire body hurt, like I was trampled by a horse over and over again and I had a pounding headache that felt like constant hammering on my brain. Still during all the chaos going on in my head, I heard shuffling on my side and turned my head to meet Titus’ eyes. A look of relief spread all over his face.

“Oh thank the goddess you’re okay Lexa. I was so worried I thought I would’ve had to order a conclave so that another commander could ascend,” he said with a slight mischief in his eyes.

“You want to get rid of me old timer?” I thought unfortunately, I couldn’t speak.

We heard the door open and in walked Roan with a small smile on his face.

“Hey, look who’s awake. Have a nice nap Axel? You’ve been unconscious for two days. I’d say you’ve well rested huh? Ready to get back to being the mighty Heda,” he said comically.

I simply looked at him wanting to form a smirk on my face but due to the pain, I couldn't.

“You scared us, you know? I was worried when I saw where you were injured. It's a good thing that Abby is a healer and knows what to do. She saved your life although, I think it’s my life I should be worried about,” he said with a glint of humor in his voice. 

“Why’s that?” Titus asked. I was wondering the same thing.

“I’m pretty sure Abby doesn’t approve of me being her daughter’s mate. When Clarke introduced us, I saw a weird look on her face and I’m pretty certain she wanted to kill me. Mothers you know?” He said rolling his eyes.

“She probably thought you were a savage with all the hair. Look at yourself boy scout. Maybe if you’d cut some of it off or at least comb it every now and then,” Titus said almost chuckling. I wanted to laugh too but it hurt so I just slightly nodded and smiled.

“Yeah well maybe after I cut some of it off you can glue it on that shiny dome of yours old timer!” he retorted back humorously.

“Ha! Got you old man!” I thought as I smiled at the two of them bantering about hair we didn’t hear when Clarked walked in. 

“She’ll accept you, just give her time. She just has to get used to the idea that’s all,” she gently said looking at him, apparently having heard the entire conversation. At her voice he turned around, walked towards her and hugged her burying his face in her neck to inhale her scent. A smile formed on her face.

As they walked over to me she asked if I was feeling okay. I simply nodded because I couldn’t speak. I pointed to my throat and Clarke said it was because of the injury that my throat would feel like that for a day or so. She then told us that her mother had to perform emergency surgery to repair damaged tissue around my trachea and in the process of getting me to her mom, they had applied direct pressure to my injury that probably resulted in a little inflammation that’s why I also had pain. I didn’t know what "trachea" meant so I just looked at her. She said Abby had told them that a stab like mine could have caused death from shock, severe blood loss, infection and or loss of an essential organ such as my heart or lungs. Thank the goddess none of that happened and I was alive to see another day. Abby also told them that I would need to rest for at least two days or until the inflammation in my throat subsided. I didn’t like that, I needed to get back to my duties and find out what Skaikru had decided, what Raven would say when I asked her to be unioned with me; my mind kept racing at all of these thoughts, the pounding increased in my head and I closed my eyes tightly willing the pain away, feeling drowsy all of a sudden. Clarke noticed, “You need to rest. Just close your eyes and sleep. You’ll feel like that because of the sedative that was injected in you. When you wake up, you’ll feel a lot better,” she merely said. I did, I let the darkness consume me and take me away. The last thing I remembered were soulful brown eyes.

The next time I woke up, I was alone in the room and a small light was produced from a night light on the side. "Skaikru and their tek," I thought rolling my eyes. As grounders, we usually relied on moonlight and candles, though personally I prefer candles. The light they offer is brighter than the moon, not to mention that it keeps the room warm on chilly nights. I like candles, hell I practically live in a big ass candle, just look at the shape of the tower, that should've been an indicator about my love for candles I mused to myself. My mind wandered to _her_ , to Raven. I pondered how she was, what she was doing. Probably sleeping right now. Why hadn’t she come to see me? Did she even know what happened? If she did, did she even care? Maybe not. I wondered if she was happy, maybe she had found someone else. What if she was in their arms now? Sleeping snuggly and warm. I growled just at the thought of my woman, my mate possibly being in the arms of someone else, I saw red - white, hot anger coursed through my veins. I wanted to get up and tear this place door by door. My alpha instincts were on overdrive, I'm pretty sure I was letting out dominant, possessive alpha pheromones. I calmed myself down because I knew that I didn't have the right to feel this way, she rejected me. I should accept her decision but I couldn't, I wouldn't, not until I tried one more time and if she rejected me again, then I'll accept and try to continue surviving, without my other half, my soul - ai keryon. I stayed up all night just wondering, pondering what I could do to get her back. I was willing to do anything, _anything_ to get her back. 

Later that day, Titus came and checked on me, I was feeling better. I could talk a little at least just one word at a time. Titus informed me that Clarke had scheduled a meeting with Skaikru's council later that day. I wanted to attend, however, I couldn't. They had to talk amongst themselves. I wanted to speak with Raven however, regarding our union, well _if_ she wanted to be unioned to me. Titus said we shouldn't linger because Skaikru didn't want us there. There was hostility towards my warriors therefore, they decided to set up camp outside of the gated fence and only two at a time were inside guarding him and I and if I wished a tent could be set up for us because of the hostility. I agreed that camp would be set up for them, I would stay back - the main reason was because I wanted to speak with my mate. 

At around evening time, Clarke came to see me and so I stood beside the bed. She said that the meeting didn't go well. Skaikru didn't want to be part of the coalition and they believed that with possession of Mount Weather, they were fully equipped for any attack against them. I simply nodded taking everything in. I knew I was going to be met with resistance but I still believed that incorporating them into the coalition was better for everyone. She then proceeded to tell me that she spoke to Raven regarding our union. I was anxious, I really wanted to know her response. Clarke told me that Raven absolutely said no. Raven said that she wouldn't be unioned with me if I was the last person on Earth. I tried growling in frustration but abruptly stopped since my throat was still raw. I knew she took no pleasure in telling me, I could hear the hesitance in her voice but she knew I had to know and it hurt! Oh goddess, how it hurt to know she didn't want me! I simply nodded and sat down back on the bed. When she left, I let the tears fall from my eyes. Raven didn’t want me, she felt nothing for me anymore. Could I have been so wrong in thinking that she was my mate - my soulmate as I told her and myself all the time - ai keryon?

I heard as the door opened again and I swiftly dried the tears from my eyes. Heda is supposed to be strong, stoic, never show any signs of weakness even though inside I was dying. 

“It hurts, I know but if this is her will, as much as it hurts you must accept it. If you don’t it’ll only hurt more my child,” Titus told me. Sincerity and understanding in his voice. I couldn’t look up. I knew it was the truth but I couldn’t, didn’t want to accept so I just shaked my head up and down and I asked him to set up a tent for me outside. There was nothing for me here anymore. I wasn’t giving up yet, but I didn’t trust myself to stay here and not try to look for her. 

So, we made our way out of the gates. I didn’t look back, there was no one waiting for me anyhow. That night, alone in my tent I couldn’t with the pain anymore and so I cried, covering my mouth with my hand so that no one could hear how I fell apart, how I wanted to curl up in a corner and fall unconscious forever, how my heart and soul pained - a physical pain, a pain that I deserved for betraying the love of my life because even though a while ago I wondered if she was my mate, deep down in my heart of hearts I knew she was. If she wasn’t then I wouldn’t feel the physical pain of my heart suffering and breaking.

As the sun rose the next day, Titus found me on the corner huddled with my knees up to my chest and my arms around them with my head resting in my arms. He gently picked me up and placed me on my bed. I was so tired, so I simply whimpered and snuggled more into the furs. I was tired. Tired of crying, tired of wondering why, tired of the pain, I fell into what felt like an endless sleep.

_I opened my eyes and was laying on my side on a lush, comfortable carpet of green grass beside a beautiful waterfall. I slowly sat up and looked more closely at it. To say it was huge was an understatement, I couldn’t even see the beginning of the waterfall. It seemed as if the water itself was falling from the clear, blue sky above. I was so enthralled by its immense beauty, I didn’t notice a beautiful woman approach me._

_“Has the beauty of the waterfall hypnotized you, my child?” a beautiful voice asked. I turned around to find a beautiful woman beside me. I looked at her from head to toe. She had a moon crescent crown on her head. Her hair was as black as the night with some strands that reflected as bright as the moon light. She wore a beautiful dark blue dress that flowed like water around her body and the most beautiful silver eyes I had ever seen. Her skin seemed so smooth. It looked like it was soft like a baby’s skin. A truly beautiful woman, I knew right away it was Selene, the moon goddess, mother._

_Bowing and kneeling in front of her, “Forgive me, goddess it’s just that I’ve never seen a waterfall as beautiful and breathtaking as this one,” I solemnly replied pointing to the waterfall._

_“Get up my child. There’s no need for you to do that. You are Heda aren’t you? Hedas don’t kneel before anyone.”_

_“They don’t, but you are not just anyone. You are our mother, our ultimate protector, our goddess. You are above everyone, even Hedas,” I simply said still on my knee. As I said this, I heard her walking away and then I slowly raised myself off my knees. She beckoned me to follow her so I did. As I joined her, we walked towards the forest. Lush, green tall trees surrounded us forming a canopy above us and in front was a field full of beautiful flowers, all kinds, all colours and smells. As if my feet had a mind of their own, I started making my way to a particular purple patch of flowers. I crouched beside them and inhaled deeply. Lavender! The sweet smell of lavender filled my lungs and I wanted to bury myself into this patch and never leave. An overwhelming sadness overcame me and I started sobbing. Suddenly, I felt soft, warm arms embrace me. It felt so good; like a mother’s embrace. It’s been a long time since I felt an embrace like that. I melted into the hug and clung to her tightly and sobbed._

_“I wish I could take it back. I wish... I could make it r-rig-right, b-bu-but she doesn’t wa-wan-want me. I’ve lost her,” was all I could say in between sobs._

_“Shhh.. Shhh… my child. Sometimes we have to feel this pain to realize what we had so that we can appreciate it and protect it the next time we have it in our hands. We have to lose everything in order to realize how precious, unique and beautiful our world can be. Sometimes, in life we must fall so that we can learn how to stand up again. Do not worry, everything is going to be alright. You will heal and learn from this.”_

_“Oh mother! I just want her!” I said exasperatedly, “You made her especially for me and I thank you. I do mother but I made a stupid mistake and I lost her. My heart hurts and my soul, my soul can’t find rest. I have no home, no hearth anymore. I don’t know if I even deserve to have it all again. Maybe … maybe it’s best if she finds someone better than me. I don’t deserve her. I want her to be happy and if her happiness is beside someone else then… so be it. I won’t get in her way,” I sobbed into her arms._

_“My daughter, do you seriously believe that? Would you really let her go to be with someone else?” she asked, pulling my face from her chest._

_“Y.. ye...yes, if that is what will make her happy. If she will find love and happiness and not suffer then I would because I’d know she has found her home, her hearth to stave off the cold nights,” I replied._

_“Oh my daughter, why do you think I made her for you and you for her?” she asked, cupping my cheeks with her soft, warm hands. “Exactly for this same reason. I knew only you could love her like this. You would place her above anything and anyone else, you would put her first, even though you had to commit a mistake. You see, you had to betray her so that you could learn to appreciate the love I made for you and she had to reject you so that she can realize that only you would ever love her the way she has always wanted to be loved. When she was younger, she suffered, you know. Her mother treated her badly and the love she wanted so desperately unfortunately she never found while on the ark, but on the ground, she did. You recognized right away who she was. Alexandra, a soulmate, is not found. A soulmate is recognized and I know you know this. Giving someone a piece of your soul is better than giving a piece of your heart because souls are eternal. Raven owns a piece of your soul just as you own a piece of hers. She may say that she doesn’t want you but she does. Oh child how she does! I can see her cry at nights just like you. What you feel is the same thing she feels. Your souls are intertwined now and forever. In every lifetime, you will find each other. Don’t ever forget that,” she said._

_“You are giving me hope, mother but I am scared, so scared of losing her. I feel like at any moment I may betray her and finally destroy her. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, maybe….,” but I couldn’t continue. I didn’t want to disrespect the moon goddess by questioning her judgment but what if…. What if I do something more terrible next time. Do I even deserve an opportunity?_

_As if reading my mind, the goddess’ hands gently squeezed my face, “You will not betray her again. You will not hurt her again. You have learnt your lesson Alexandra. You will always protect our people, all of them, but Raven is also important. In the past, your first duty was our people, now Raven is your first duty. She must come first. She is your love, your home, your soul, your mate. Now, repeat it,” she simply said._

_“My first duty, my love, my home, my soul, my mate,” I repeated._

_“Again,” she says as she laid my head on her lap caressing my forehead tenderly. It felt so nice._

_“My first duty, my love, my home, my soul, my mate.”_

_“Again.”_

_“My first duty, my love, my home, my soul, my mate,” I said more determinedly._

_“Again.”_

_“My first duty, my love, my home, my soul, my mate.” I started repeating it like a mantra over and over again until I started feeling sleepy but still I continued saying it till the last thing I felt was her hand on my forehead._

I woke up repeating the words. I looked around and felt something weird, I couldn’t explain it but it felt like I was reborn, like I've rested for many nights, even my throat, head and body pains were gone. A weird, but pleasant feeling washed over me and I felt a surge of determination course through every vein in my body. I was determined to get my mate back. My mother had told me so and I truly believed her. It was an honour to have dreamt with her, to have seen her and even spoken with her. “Thank you mother!” I said aloud.

I slowly got up from my bed and started putting my armour on. I then stepped out of my tent and noticed it was mid afternoon. I went to look for Titus and found him outside talking with Roan so I approached them. “Hey guys,” I said. Both looked at me with a serious frown on their faces, worry lines appeared around Titus’ eyes. “What is the matter?” I asked now, more alerted. 

“I did some digging to find out who the attackers were,” said Roan hesitantly.

“And? What did you find?” I asked.

“It was Azgeda. It seems my mother has gotten more bold now and ordered her warriors to go after Clarke, well Wanheda. They had been following us since we left Polis trying to bide their time until they realized we were approaching Arkadia and decided it's now or never. They recognized you, Clarke and Titus but not me. I think that was because they became warriors after I was banished. They figured why not two for the price of one - Heda and Wanheda. Apparently, my mother wants Wanheda’s powers in order to control the coalition, thus overpowering you. Once she has gained that, she plans on attacking Skaikru and imprisoning the people.”

“And how did you come by this much information?” I asked. Weird, exactly like I had told Clarke would happen. 

“I went to a trading post in Triku territory and the owner of the place was very willing to talk when he was drunk and in good company.”

Understanding, I simply nodded. “We need to inform Skaikru immediately. If Nia and Azgeda got this close to Arkadia, what is to stop them from coming directly to Arkadia at any moment to take over,” Titus said.

“Come on. Let’s go see Clarke and the council. They need to know this,” I say already making my way towards the gates.

“Hold up Axel! My mate already knows. Earlier when I found out I came to tell you but you were indisposed so I told her. She said she would set up a meeting with the council to inform them.”

“How long ago was this?” I asked.

“A while ago. As soon as she left I came over here and told the old timer,” he said smirking towards Titus.

Titus slowly growled at being called an old timer. It was rather funny watching those two bickering like old ladies. 

“Come on ladies! No fighting. Let’s leave that for Skaikru because that’s where we’re going right now and be prepared to face angry, scowling faces,” I said this time walking towards the gates of Arkadia. 

When we arrived inside the ark, we inquired where the conference room was and given directions. As the three of us approached the room, we heard loud voices and growls coming from inside. When Titus opened the room, the scent of dominant alpha pheromones hit our noses. I saw the two omegas almost doubling over as the scent permeated the entire room. I growled loudly emitting my alpha pheromones directed to all the alphas in the room except the omegas as the others submitted to me. Roan struggled against my pheromones but managed to reach Clarke and pulled her out of the room while I got to my mate and pulled her strongly towards me. Cradling her head on my chest and feeling all those wonderful tingles run up and down my body. The knowledge of holding her close to me was so calming as I inhaled the sweet scent of lavender and honey. I felt her cling to me holding me tightly in her embrace and I heard a faint purr slip out of her mouth. I smiled internally at the knowledge that she did that. I cupped her face with both hands, “Are you okay? Do you have pain? Can you breathe ai keryon?” I asked worriedly knowing that alpha pheromones can greatly affect omegas. She simply shook her head in assertion. I gently handed her to Titus who held her steady from the weakness she was feeling.

“How dare you! You never use your damn alpha pheromones on anybody to make them submit, especially omegas! ESPECIALLY MY MATE!” I screamed, a growl followed by a snarl fell from my lips. 

“Well it's a good thing she’s not your mate!” Bellamy said with a smirk on his face. I didn’t answer because I wanted to have my mate back and so I showed a little restrain, silently asking the goddess to grant me wisdom so I could have Raven back with me and not knock him the fuck out!

They were already on their feet since I had pulled back my pheromones when I entered the room to get to Raven.

“If any of you ever do that again you will be punished. It is against the law, coalition law to use your pheromones to make someone submit to you. You can be put to death if the submission results in the death of the other person!” I yelled angrily.

“Well it's a good thing we’re not part of your coalition, Commander! You cannot tell us what to do!” Bellamy sneered with a growl. Kane and Abby said nothing but I noticed Abby looking at me with a surprised expression on her face.

“YOU WILL BE! Whether you like it or not, Skaikru will be part of the coalition, you all will be the thirteenth clan! I have been informed of who the attackers were. Do you think that Nia will give a damn about you and your people! She will likely kill all of you except the few who are trained in weaponry, technological machinery and medical expertise and I for one will not allow Nia to do anything against my mate because that’s what Raven is. She _is_ my mate whether you like it or not Bellamy. I don’t give a damn about you but I know that your sister does, I know that your friends do and so I do too because they care for you and so I will do what is in my power to save your life and all of Skaikru as soon as Wanheda bows to me in front of the ambassadors.” I said authoritatively.

Turning to Clarke, “I know that the idea of bowing to me seems inconceivable but Clarke, you like me would do anything to protect your people. Bowing to me is just symbolic. It only means that if there’s a war and I call upon Wanheda, all you have to do is show up and be by my side. You don’t even have to fight, maybe just give an encouraging speech to our people. That's what it means to be a leader, Clarke. The truth is, we must look into the eyes of our warriors and say, 'Go die for me.'" and I hope it never comes to that. I don’t want to start a war, I’d rather end them for all of us. You know Nia wouldn’t do that. She would cut off your head to claim the power of Wanheda,” I said sincerely.

Closing the space between us, “What do you think she will do when she finds out that the mighty Wanheda is mated to her _only_ son?” Gasps were heard inside the room. “She will use him, maybe even kill him to control you. Is that what you want? Losing your mate hurts like hell Clarke and it’s a pain I do not wish on anyone. It hurts your heart, your soul. The pain goes all the way to your bones. Even breathing hurts and it hurts more when you can’t smell them especially when their scent calms you and you feel protected and loved by them. You only survive but you’re not living. You become a shell of yourself; just going through the motions of the days. At night, you yearn for their embrace, for their caresses and the bed feels humongous, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you are just miserable,” I said and she just looked at me saying nothing. I could see she was processing what I've just said. Looking at Raven, I continued, “Your soulmate owns your heart, your relationship is intense, overwhelming and purely magical. They make you feel at home and you cannot imagine how your life would be without that person. Saying goodbye to your mate is unbearable; it feels like you're breaking piece by piece as if part of your soul is being torn apart.” I saw tears form in my mate’s eyes and she looked away, unable to continue looking at me. Clarke turned away from me and held on to Roan tightly and whispered her love for him. He smiled and pressed his face to her neck and inhaled her scent whispering his love for her back.

After their uninterrupted tender moment, Clarke turned around facing me and the council determination on her face, “Heda, Skaikru will become part of the coalition and Wanheda will bow before you. As for the union, well you and Raven can discuss that privately,” she says authoritatively. Before anyone can object, “When we made an alliance with Heda to get our people back from the mountain, I was Skaikru’s leader, now that we face a possible extermination I take leadership again. What I’ve said goes for all of us. _We_ will become the thirteenth clan. We will be part of the coalition and _we_ will integrate ourselves with them. After all, there’s only one Earth and we all have to learn to live in it again. If you do not like it, you can leave but I _will not_ endanger the lives of my mother, my family, my friends and much less _my mate_ because of our stupid pride, because we think that we are better than the grounders simply because we possess technology. When we are part of the coalition, that same technology we possess, we will share it and teach them how to use it and I will not discuss this any longer. I’m leaving with my mate and I do not want to be disturbed for the rest of the day,” she simply said and took Roan’s hand and left the room. 

Raven, Titus, the council members and I were the only ones left in the room. I could see that the alphas didn't like the idea but none said anything else. Bellamy was the first to walk out followed by Kane. Abby stayed behind and I approached her, “Dr. Griffin I wanted to thank you for saving my life. I know if it were up to you, you’d probably let me die and I would deserve it for everything I did against your daughter and your people but I am thankful nonetheless. I am trying to do better. I’m trying to fix the pain I’ve caused you all. I know that it may not seem as much and I will probably never be able to fix it completely especially for what I did to Raven and with Clarke being alone in the wilderness for so long as well but I will try till my last days,” I said sincerely. She just looked at me and nodded, “Well Commander, I am a doctor and as such my first obligation is to save lives. It doesn't matter who they are, and besides, we all make mistakes; no one is perfect. It seems you have learned yours and I hope that you really live up to what you’ve just said. I’ll hold you to that,” Changing the topic she asked, “How come you can talk so much right now? Doesn’t your throat hurt you? Are you feeling any discomfort?”

With a small smile on my face, I looked at her, “No, it doesn’t. It seems that sleeping for a long time, helped with the pain. I can barely feel a thing,” I said.

She still looked a little confused but must have decided to drop it because all she did was nod again and left. Titus approached me and said he’ll be waiting for me outside. As he walked out, he gently closed the door and then it was only me and Raven alone. 

I approached her cautiously since I didn’t know how she was going to react to me and as I did I took the time to finally look at her. She looked tired but that must have been from the submission a while ago but she was beautiful even more than before. Those soulful brown eyes were even more brown, those lips so plump and pink. I wanted to taste them, her soft supple skin beckoned me to touch it, caress it, lick it and adore it for the rest of my life. Those unmistakable omega curves drove my alpha crazy. I just wanted to pounce on her and slam her back against the wall and make her mine. I wanted to be inside her, feel her naked body writhing beneath me, hear her moans, groans and grunt as I filled her with my cock. Memories of our nights in the cave came back to me and I was certain that my eyes had turned black full of lust and desire and the smell of arousal was strong in the room because I saw her eyes turn black for a little while, and her breath hitched and I knew. I knew she was still mine. I inhaled deeply, the smell of lavender, honey and aroused omega was strong and it filled my lungs and made my cock twitch with need.

As I finally closed the space between us, I gently took her hands in mine and lightly wrapped them around hers and waited to see if she'd remove her hands but she didn’t. 

“How’re you feeling baby girl?” I asked huskily hoping she'd like it.

“Don’t call me that. You have no right.” she stonily replied. 

Oh goddess how it hurt when she spoke like that. But, I knew she only said that as a defense mechanism so I only nodded my head. “You’re right, I don’t have the right but I am willing to do anything to get it back. Tell me what I have to do and I’ll do it, ai keryon. I meant every word I told Clarke a while ago you know. And, if I feel like that I know you do too but I also understand that you need time; I get it and I’m willing to give you all the time in the world just don’t shut me out please baby, I’m begging you,” I said reaching for my throat and rubbing it gently while wincing a little. I didn’t have any pain but I was desperate! So, I pretended that it hurt a little. She wanted to say something but when she saw me wincing she stretched her hands to touch my throat.

“Does it still hurt badly?” She asked. I closed my eyes at her touch; her hand felt so good, so soothing.

“Only a little. I guess it’s because I yelled at them since I was furious a while ago when I saw you and Clarke being forced to submit,” I growled just at the memory, “I don’t like that, it's not tolerated in the coalition and I meant every word I said.” She reluctantly removed her hand and suddenly I felt cold, her warmth gone. “And about the union. I know you don’t want to and I’m not going to ask you to. I’ll respect that, but if you ever change your mind, know that I’ll do it in a heartbeat. For you to be my wife, it would be a privilege and an honour.”

She said nothing, just nodded and I didn’t press the issue any more. 

“I was scared when they told me you were stabbed you know? When I saw the bald man bringing you in his arms, Clarke yelling for Abby and her mate pressing on your throat and all that blood, so much blood,” she said as she shuddered at the memory, “I felt like I was dying. Why is that? Why do I feel so attached to you?” she asked looking at me. 

“Because you and I belong together. You are my soul as I am yours. Selene, our goddess made us especially for each other and you and I will always be together in this life and the next. Raven, I know you can’t trust me but please, I’m begging you to give me a chance to prove myself to you, please my love.” Then I got down on my knees looking directly into her warm, brown eyes, “I swear fealty to you, Raven Reyes kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own. I vow to place you above everyone and everything else. I vow to love you as you deserve and as you have always wanted to be loved. I vow to you now that you are my first duty, my love, my home, my hearth, my soul and my mate and I swear I will protect and defend your people as my people," I said earnestly looking at her eyes.

She just looked at me and slowly extended her hand and I grabbed hold of it as she helped me stand up, “I’ll hold you to that alpha because goddess knows why I can’t stay away from you. You are the first thought that I have in the morning and the last at night. These past months have been hell. I know my heart tells me I should forgive you, give you another chance but my head warns me that you will only break it again and I won’t be able to come back. You will kill me if you do that babe. But I’m tired, tired of fighting this feeling I have for you. I wanted to hate you but I couldn’t. I wanted to forget you, lose myself in someone else to ease the pain but it only hurt more when I tried. I could never go as far as a kiss on the cheek. It felt wrong, it hurt and I’d run away to my room to cry, cry because they weren’t you,” she said cupping my cheeks. 

I pulled her to me tightly, my alpha wanted to growl at the thought of her finding someone else but I remained calm because I couldn’t afford to screw up my only chance at getting her back. I was only inches from her lips and as much as I wanted to lose myself in those plump, pink lips I knew that we would be starting on the wrong foot so I simply held her and placed my forehead against hers, “I swear to earn your forgiveness and show you that I’ve changed. You’ve changed me, my love and yes I know how hard it's been for you because it’s been the same for me. I didn’t seek anyone out because there is only one Raven and she was here in Arkadia suffering from my betrayal and no one in Polis will ever hold a candle to you. You are mines Raven, only you, forever you,” I said as my arm tightened more around her waist and my other arm snaked around the back of her neck and I pulled her to me pressing a kiss to her forehead. I felt as she melted into me and I began to purr. I heard her join me also. My alpha felt at peace if only for that little while. 

“Hey when we make our way back to Polis, come with me or better yet come with Clarke and the rest of the council. I think you’ll love Polis. You can stay for as long as you want. I can take you to see all the market stalls, the food is delicious; a variety from all the clans and if you want, I can take you for a walk in the woods or go for a swim in the lake. It's so beautiful, baby, I think you’ll like it. What’d you say? Please?” I said excitedly, “Please say yes.”

She looked at me, with her warm brown eyes as a glint appeared in her soulful eyes and a smirk formed on her face, “Okay alpha. You got yourself a deal. I’ll take you up on your offer. Let’s see what Polis has to offer me,” she said with a small chuckle. 

A big smile formed on my face and I just pulled her to me, melting my body to hers and feeling her warmth radiating towards my own. My heart was slowly putting the broken pieces back together again and I was sure hers was doing the same. I silently promised myself that I would do anything in my power to make her fall in love with me, all over again and at the same time prove to her that she is the only omega for me. I promised I would dote on her till she can’t think straight, till she is so dizzy with love just like those nights we were in the cave. I will get her back! She’s MINE! MY FIRST DUTY! AI KERYON!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> I hoped you liked this chapter and thanks for all the kudos!  
> Comments are always welcomed.   
> Until next week!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this the second to last chapter. Five years so I wanted five chapters.
> 
> Here's a chapter of fluff, angst and smut, I hope :) Although, honestly I am not good with smut writing so forgive me if its not up to par with others. Use your imagination :) Hey, at least I tried! 
> 
> Enjoy and hopefully there are not a lot of grammatical and spelling mistakes!

Two days after arriving at Polis, the throne room was filled with all the clan's ambassadors as Wanheda willingly knelt before me. The room was lit with many candles, casting shadows and warm light inside the throne room. Clarke came walking in a beautiful cream coloured dress, warpaint on her face. She was beautifully radiant and I saw the pride on Roan’s face as his mate walked towards me. Her claiming bite proudly displayed on her neck. As beautiful and radiant as Clarke was, my mate was the star attraction for me. She was standing beside Abby and Kane. Bellamy stayed back at Arkadia, thank the goddess; I really didn’t like the guy but I had to tolerate him. 

Even though my mate was simply dressed in black pants and black shirt with her red jacket on, she was stunning, alluring, all encompassing. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. As Clarke came towards me, I sneaked glances towards Raven and she noticed. I made sure that she saw I was looking at her - from the tip of her head where she had her hair in a ponytail to the heel of her toes, licking my lips in the process and inhaling deeply. She knew I was doing it to get her attention because there was a light blush on her face and she constantly made eye contact with me and immediately looked away. She was nervous and internally I was smirking. I knew I had an effect on her, well honestly, that was what I was aiming for. I heard the Old Timer clear his throat and mumbled something. I honestly didn’t hear; my attention was on my mate. “Hey dumbass! Eyes on front!” he whispered, “You can drool over her after this is over.” I lightly growled but nonetheless faced forward in Clarke’s direction. 

When she arrived a few steps from me, Clarke knelt before me. Roan soon followed and after, everyone else knelt including Skaikru and my mate. 

“Hail warriors of the twelve clans!” I said loudly.

“Hail Commander of the blood!” they responded.

“Rise,” I said motioning to them. “We welcome Skaikru to our halls in the spirit of friendship and harmony and we welcome Clarke Kom Skaikru, legendary Wanheda, mountain slayer. We are here to initiate them into the coalition, to become the thirteenth clan. To symbolize this union, the leader of Skaikru must bear our mark.” 

Kane stepped up and raised the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Present your arm,” I firmly told him as two of my warriors stood beside him with the red, hot iron brand and placed it firmly to his arm. He grunted in pain but remained strong. After it was over, there was a round of applause from the other ambassadors and invited guests.

“Now that we have officially initiated Skaikru as the thirteenth clan into our coalition, let us feast and be merry!” I said nodding my head towards the servers to bring in the food.

Clarke had already joined her clan and Roan was standing proudly beside her. They were holding hands and the looks they received from the ambassadors were definitely going to be the talk around Polis tomorrow and the days to come. 

An elegant feast of grilled meat, fresh fruits, steamed vegetables, baked bread and delicious wine was served to all the attendees. It was a wonderful occasion but my eyes kept looking for Raven. At one point when we made eye contact, I had my wine goblet around my lips sipping some of the fermented liquid. I slowly lowered it and licked my lips smirking at her. I saw she gulped and her breath hitched and I am pretty sure my eyes flashed black for a second just as hers did - desire and lust.

After the feast I started mingling among my people, greeting the ambassadors and other invited guests, making small talks here and there. I would occasionally scan the area looking for Raven and saw that she was with Skaikru. Titus had made his way towards them and I felt a little more comfortable. As soon as I managed to get away from the other guests, I made my way towards them. 

“How are you all enjoying the feast?” I asked.

“Very wonderfully. Thank you Commander,” Kane replied. Abby shook her head in acknowledgment and Clarke and Roan simply nodded as well. I got a little closer to my mate and whispered, “What about you my love? Is everything okay? Do you need anything? Are you tired?”

She looked at me with a small smile on her face, “I’m fine Heda now that you're here. What about you?” she asked.

“I’m good too baby girl, just wished I could get to you sooner but, well, I had to…”

“Yeah I know. You have to see to your people first,' she finished saying.

“First no!" I hurriedly exclaimed. "You are first but I just wanted to make sure everyone would play nice and Titus was around so I knew you were in good hands. Besides, Roan was here with you all. I feel better when these two are around.”

“I didn’t mean to sound mad because you were with your people Lexa. I understand that you are the Commander and that comes with a lot of responsibilities and I just want you to know that I get it, I understand it and I’m not mad, believe me, I totally get it, okay?” she said seriously.

“Thanks for understanding, love. It means a lot to me.”

“Sure no problem alpha.”

As we stood there, I heard a familiar voice coming close. I looked over Raven and saw her, a beta. She had a big smile on her face and was making her way towards us. I saw Titus make his way to her and hugged Myra, his mate. As he ushered her towards us, I went to embrace her and kissed her on the cheek. 

“It’s so good to see you! How are you? The pups?” I asked with a smile on my face.

“I’m good Heda and the pups, well, they’re a handful but I wouldn’t have it any other way you know. They’re my world along with this very handsome man,’ she said hugging Titus around his waist as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

I smiled and nodded. Since I've known her, she has always been a kind and generous person. “Hey come here, I want you to meet someone special," I told her as I ushered her towards Raven.

“Okay, lead the way Heda,” she said lightly chuckling.

As I reached the Skaikru party I motioned for Raven to come closer.

“Myra, I want you to meet Raven Reyes Kom Skaikru, my mate, ai keryon,” I proudly said with a smile going from one side of my face to the other side. “Raven, meet Myra, Titus’ mate,” I said as I watched Myra hug Raven and it surprised her. It showed on her face but nonetheless she returned the hug instantly with a warm smile on her face.

"It's nice to meet you," Raven said smiling at Myra.

“It’s nice to finally meet Heda’s mate as well,” Myra said. Turning towards me, “You have a beautiful mate Heda. She’s truly gorgeous,” she said sincerely. 

“Thank you, Myra,” I said with a blush on my face. I could feel my face getting a little warmer and lowered my head a little so she didn’t see it, but Myra never missed anything. She’s very observant. She made her way towards her mate when we heard, “Myra! How come you get younger every time I see you and your mate gets older?” Roan asked as he made his way towards us, a mischievous smirk on his face with Clarke walking beside him. 

Titus face palmed himself, “Oh goddess, give me patience with this one!” he said comically.

“Oh I don’t know!” Myra said laughing as Roan extended his arm to hug her. She wrapped her arm around him and he kissed her on the cheek. “It’s so good to see you,” he said. “I want you to meet someone.” Pulling Clarke closer to him he said, “Myra, please meet my mate, Clarke Griffin Kom Skaikru.” She hugged Clarke as well and Clarke reciprocated.

“It’s very nice to meet you Clarke. You have a very good mate, he will protect you and love you even though he’s a big teddy bear when he’s ready. Sam and Claire love when he goes to visit don’t they love?” she asked Titus.

“Yes, that's the only time we have to take care of three children instead of two,” he said as he grinned looking at Roan.

“You still love me though, Old Timer!” Roan said, chuckling. 

Titus just huffed a little but there was a glint of humour on his face. 

I softly chuckled. 

“It’s very nice to finally meet you two,” she said looking at Raven and Clarke. “It warms my heart to know that these two,” she said motioning to me and Roan, “have found their homes. I know they can be complicated; being alphas and all but they mean well. I ask both of you to be patient with them, I know they can be stubborn and hot headed but they will always be there, always make sure that you’re okay, always make sure you feel safe and protected. The moon goddess makes no mistake when she pairs people as mates. There is always a reason even if we can’t see at the time, don’t fight your bonds instead, make them stronger,” she said looking at the four of us. I nodded and gently squeezed Raven’s hand as Roan did the same. 

When the festivities seemed to be dying down, Myra and Titus made their way to where Raven and I were standing along with Clarke and Roan to bid us goodnight, making plans to have dinner for the six of us later on. It didn’t take long after that for almost everyone to be gone and Clarke and Roan left for their room and I accompanied Raven to hers. 

I stood by her door as she entered and simply looked at her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her goodnight but I wanted to respect her and give her space so I just leaned forward and kissed her forehead and uttered, “ Good night ai keryon. Sleep well and if you’re up for it, tomorrow I can give you a tour of the market and the tower. Would you like that?” I asked with hope in my voice. She cupped my cheeks and pressed her body closer to mine, “I’d like that a lot,” she whispered as she pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. I felt like I was floating. To have her so close to me, I inhaled deeply burying my nose in her neck, “I’m happy you’re here baby girl,” I said softly. I heard her purr at the way I called her. I smirked and promised myself I would use it as often as I could. I backed away slowly from her warmth and I smiled at her before retreating. I made my way to my quarters feeling a lightness to my heart. Tomorrow is going to be wonderful!

“How many floors are on the tower?” Raven asked as she looked out the balcony in the throne room.

“Fifty two. We are one the fifty first and the floor directly below is my floor, well the Commander’s quarters,” I replied.

“You have an entire floor?” she asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Yes, but it’s just a big, gigantic room. It’s like an entire house. It has its own bathroom, kitchen, and living space you know. You and the rest of your people are staying on the one below that. It’s for the Commander’s special guests only. Clarke and Roan are on the forty eighth floor since it’s the ambassador's floor,” I replied.

I had given Raven a tour of the entire tower, well except for the dungeons. She didn’t need to see that. Some of the floors were vacant since it was only used in case of war or riots to bring my people inside to protect them. We had spent the entire morning together. The lift definitely got her attention. I could see those gears in her head already working. I was so enthralled watching her think that I didn’t hear what she said.

“Pardon, what did you say?” I asked, feeling like a fool. I hoped she didn’t think I wasn’t paying attention.

“I asked what’s with the candles. There are a lot! Even from the outside, the tower looks like a gigantic candle,” she said with a smile on her beautiful face.

“Oh well, I like candles,” I said shyly, “They make the room feel warm on chilly nights and the soft glow provides a nice ambient to the room, don’t you think?” I asked, “As for the tower looking like a candle, I didn’t have anything to do with that. It’s just a coincidence that it looks like one.”

She noticed my shyness but said nothing. She just smiled back. “If you’re not tired, after lunch we can take a walk through the market stalls. They’re usually a little quiet in the afternoon compared to the morning - more activity in the morning. B-but if you’re not feeling up to it, we can leave it for tomorrow if you want to rest or if you have something else to do,” I said nervously, feeling like a teenager stammering. I'm a grown woman, I should be able to speak very well. “Goddess don’t make me make a fool of myself!” I silently pleaded. It’s just that I wanted to spend every moment with her. 

Noticing my nervousness, she gently grasped my hand and lightly squeezed it. “I would love to spend the rest of the day with you and see what the market has to offer. When I first came, I saw many stalls and they had intriguing smells; mostly food but also I could smell flowers and different chemicals I couldn’t place at the time but I am curious as to what it was,” she said earnestly. 

“Okay! Let’s have lunch and I’ll take you. Is that all right?” I asked, smiling.

“Yeah let’s do that alpha.”

When we walked out of the tower, there was a gentle breeze blowing. It felt nice. As we got closer to the stalls, we made our way to the first section of the market - textiles. Clothes of different colors, shapes and sizes representing the different clans and their unique styles were on display. I wanted to get her something; I wanted to dote on her, so I asked if it would be okay if I could. She didn’t want to but I think she saw how sad it made me so she acquiesced. It made my alpha happy to be able to dote on our omega. So, with that in mind I told her to pick whatever she wanted. Of course, being herself, she only picked up a beautiful light brown jacket that beautifully complimented her soulful eyes. It wrapped beautifully around her natural curves taking my breath away. She was stunning. My mouth fell open and she just smiled at me and gently closed my mouth. I purred at her touch which made her lightly chuckle. I told her she can pick anything else but she didn’t want; the jacket was enough she said but I did see her eyeing some short sleeved shirts that would be perfect for summer, so I discreetly asked the seller to select a few as well as some pants and have them sent to the tower which she very eagerly started doing. Our next stop was the section with blankets. Beautiful hand knitted blankets of all sizes and colors. There was a beautiful one I liked that I wanted to get for her. It was a light gray and on top, stitched with mild colors were two wolves. One was a light brown wolf with golden eyes and the other was a darker brown with light brown on the edges of its fur with green eyes. Both wolves were laying down and the green eyed wolf had its head laying protectively on the other wolf’s back. “Mates,” I thought. Carmen, the owner of the stall looked at me and stepped a little closer to me, “Heda, I can have that one sent for you at the tower if you want?” she whispered. I smiled, nodding in affirmation and thanked her. I saw Raven take one in her hands and inspected it. It was a smaller light blue and black plaid blanket so I asked Carmen to send it to the tower as well before Raven could protest. 

After the textile section came the furniture and wood carving area. Here, wood carvers and carpenters displayed their goods. We breezed through the area just smiling and waving as the people acknowledged me. After, came the arts and paints section. I saw a smile formed on Raven’s face as she was inspecting all the art supplies sections. They had different colours of paints, art supplies and paintings of different sizes and scenes. I saw her looking at one in particular. It was a scene of a forest with a river flowing in the middle. She saw I was studying her, “I saw a place just like this once when I was taking a walk near the dropship site. I was feeling tired and overwhelmed, just trying to survive you know, so I left the dropship and stumbled my way through the forest till I came up to a place similar to this one,” she said pointing to the painting. “I just stood there, breathing the fresh air and trying to calm myself down. I don’t know how long I stayed there but after, I felt a little calmer, more at ease, so I got up and made my way back.” she said just looking at the painting. I took her hand in mine and brought it to my lips and kissed it. She just looked at me and turned her face towards the rest of the paintings. 

“I have to bring Clarke here. She loves painting. I know she’d go crazy with all the colours and supplies here. I bet her mate would love to get all of these things for her.”

“Well, we can get something for her if you’d like. Pick some stuff and we can have it delivered to her or if you would prefer to give it to her personally, that can also be arranged,” I told her, still holding her hand. Letting go of my hand, she nodded and started picking up some items and I asked the owner to send it to the tower. 

After moving on we came up to the food section. Now, this was the biggest section because it offered different foods from each of the clans. There was a fish, meat, vegetables and fruits section, followed by the bakery and pastry section and finally small stands that you can sit and eat. We just strolled through the sections enjoying snacks here and there until we arrived at the pastry portion and I walked a little ahead of Raven to see Dante and his mate Sonia, both betas who owned my favourite pastry stall. When Raven arrived a little later, Dante had just given me my favourite treat - chocolate covered pretzels. I offered it to my mate and she generously took it from my hand and tasted it. I saw her eyes lit up and heard her moan as the sweet and salty treat attacked her taste buds. My breath hitched and my pupils dilated up a little with arousal. Her moan made my cock twitch and ached a little but I tried to school myself so I cleared my throat and backed away from her a little. She must have noticed because she just smirked at me. She knew she had that effect on me. “This woman is going to be the death of me,” I thought to myself. 

“It’s good yeah?” I asked her. With a full mouth she just nodded and smiled. 

“The combination of sweet and salty makes it delicious. What is it?” She asked while cleaning the side of her mouth. She forgot the other side, so I took my thumb and gently swiped up the crumbs letting it slide very slowly and have it linger just a little on her bottom lip before placing my thumb in my mouth, sucking it and making a pop sound. “Two can play the game baby girl,” I whispered so only she could hear. Her breath hitched and she just chuckled at me. 

“It’s pretzels covered in chocolates. I like it, they’re my favourite.”

“What’s a pretzel?” she curiously asked, as she frowned her eyebrows in confusion.

“Is a type of baked pastry made from dough that is commonly shaped into a knot and seasoned with salt, that’s why it's salty." 

After eating one more, Dante handed me a bag with some more so that Raven and I could share as we continued exploring the market. We walked around the different pastry sections and got some small cakes and candies for later. 

Our last section was my personal part - weapons section. There were different types of swords - broad and narrow, some heavier than the others. There were also different bows and arrows with intricate designs as well as daggers in different sizes and designs. My eye caught a pair. It was intricately designed. The daggers were about eight inches. The blade was about five inches in length from start to finish. It was stainless steel and it was uniquely designed with what looked like thorns swirling around vines. The hilt connected to the blade was also made of both stainless steel with wood. The first dagger, a steel wolf head pommel, was ornately decorated and the grip was made of wood and painted with a navy blue colour. The cross guard was also stainless steel that beautifully complimented the blade’s design. The scabbard made of leather showed a beautiful image of a wolf pack, set against the same colour as the grip of the dagger. The other dagger had the same design of the blade but instead of a wolf head pommel it had a bird head and the cross guard were extended bird wings with the grip painted in the same colour. The scabbard was made of the same material as its pair but instead of a wolf pack image, it featured a flock of birds. I carefully took them in my hands and tested their weight. They were light but still had the power to kill. I instantly fell in love with them. I asked the owner to pack it for me. Raven just looked at me rolling her eyes and shook her head.

“What? I like my weapons!” I said with a serious tone in my voice. 

“Nothing alpha. Shall we continue?” she asked, smiling.

“Don’t you want anything?” I questioned back.

“Nope. My gun is enough for me.”

“Okay if you say so.”

By the time we finished walking through the market it was almost sunset so we made our way back to the tower. While we were going up the lift she leaned a little against me; she was tired so I placed my arm on her waist to support her and placed my head gently over hers. It was a comfortable silence till the lift opened and as we made our way to her room Abby came out of her room and said they are leaving for Arkadia the following day. She asked Raven if she was going with them or staying. Raven looked at her and smiled saying she was staying a little longer. Abby looked at me skeptically but then she nodded in affirmation and excused herself. When we entered her room I sat on a small couch that was positioned just opposite of the bed where Raven sat down.

“Thanks for today I had a really good time.” she said honestly.

“Thank you for accepting as well. I had a wonderful time. If you’re up to it tomorrow, I can take you to the lake and we can start those swimming lessons,” I asked hoping she would accept. 

“Sure that’d be fine.”

“Good. Do you want to have dinner together or would you prefer to be by yourself?” I asked silently hoping she wouldn’t shoot down my offer. 

“Yeah but can we eat here? My feet are a little tired," she said, rubbing them a little.

“Yeah no problem. Let me just freshen up and when I come back I’ll bring the food. That’s okay with you?” I asked. She nodded in response as she continued massaging her feet.

As I got up to leave, I gently kissed her on the cheek and saw my mate blush, a pretty pink hue on her cheeks. I grinned and walked out. After a comfortable dinner of stewed deer meat, apple slices, freshly baked bread and steamed potatoes I placed Raven's feet on my lap and started massaging from her knees to her feet. She closed her eyes and sighed. "That feels _good_ ," she said as a smile formed on her face. I continued until I felt her muscles completely relax. I got up to leave for the night but honestly my feet didn’t want to move so I simply stood in front of my mate and held her in my arms inhaling her scent. She did the same. Reluctantly, I removed myself from her embrace and said goodnight as I kissed her on her forehead. 

The following day, Raven and Clarke were standing outside the tower watching as Skaikru left Polis in their rover vehicle. 

Later that day, Raven and I made our way towards the lake. The water was clear and as we got into the water, Raven confessed she was a little scared. 

“Come here and wrap your legs around me. I’ll hold you; I won’t let you go. Trust me,” I said earnestly. She did and I made our way a little further in till the water was around my shoulders. She slowly untangled her legs from around my waist and settled them down. I started giving her instructions on how to move her legs and arms and little by little she did. It didn’t take long for her to gain a little more confidence and before she realized it, she was swimming by herself.

“Baby girl, you’re swimming!” I slightly shouted, making a fist bump into the air. She laughed as swam towards me wrapping her legs around my waist and kissing me on the cheek. “I can swim! Baby I can swim! Thank you!” she said ecstatically. I kissed her back and laughed. I was so happy that I taught her and I got to spend time with her. I felt our bond getting stronger. The more time we spent together, the more our bond and trust grew.

Over the next two days, we continued being together, often seeing each other, even though I had coalition meetings set up. Thank the goddess that I had Titus. He made it easier for me to spend time with Raven by taking on more of my responsibilities. The meetings progressed smoothly; there were talks of clans working together much more, increasing trades and other items. Clarke was now Skaikru’s ambassador and had expressed her clan’s willingness to learn and adapt to our customs and laws as well as their willingness to teach healers their methods used in medicine and technology however, the other clans were a little apprehensive on the latter, quite understandably so because they were not familiar with Skaikru’s tek. Clarke said that we can start slow and see how we progressed from there and if it was okay with me and the other ambassadors, Raven could give us a little heads up as to how we can go about it. I liked the idea of having my mate close to me and so I readily agreed stating that she and Raven should talk and come up with some ideas that can be discussed at the next coalition meeting. Everyone else agreed and the matter was settled. 

The following night Clarke, Roan, Raven and I went to Titus’ home. The Old Timer had a homely cottage styled house just on the outskirts of Polis. As the four of us neared the house we heard Sam, nine and Claire, six screaming and laughing making their way towards us, “Roan, Heda and their mates are here!” yelled Claire. She ran towards me and Sam ran towards Roan and both jumped as we extended our arms to catch them. I hugged Claire tightly to my chest. “Hey beautiful, how are you?” I said kissing her on her cheek. 

“Better now that you and Roan are here!” she replied enthusiastically. 

Myra came out and motioned for Clarke and my mate to go into the house, “Come on girls, let the children play,” she said smirking towards Roan and I. 

“Yay!” Sam called out, “Let’s play tag!”

As both omegas made their way inside, we stayed with the children. A while later, Raven poked out her head from the door, “Hey guys come on! It’s time for dinner and you four need to wash up. You’re all sweaty,” she said laughing. We made our way inside, all drenched in sweat as Myra attended to the children, Clarke wiped Roan’s face and Raven took out a handkerchief from her pocket and started wiping my face. I purred lowly hoping no one would notice but of course Myra did; she always did and just smiled at me. I felt a blush come over me and that just made me start sweating some little more. After my embarrassing moment, we all sat to a nice home-made meal of baked vegetables with meat, butter garlic toast bread, grated cheese with pasta, and for desert, Myra served apple pie. It was a pleasant evening surrounded by family. That night when we arrived at the tower, after saying goodnight to Clarke and Roan, Raven and I made our way to her room. I had asked my personal handmaiden, Nova to deposit what I bought for Raven at the market the other day in her room. 

“What are these?” she asked, confusion written plainly on her face.

“Um...I asked Nova, my handmaid to bring it here. These items are yours,” I simply replied. 

Skeptically she looked at me but then turned around and began opening one box at a time. In the first were five short sleeved shirts with matching pants. She turned towards me and smiled. "They're good for summer," I said. Next, the painting of the forest with the river scene was neatly wrapped in paper so it was protected. As she tore open the paper, she gasped at the painting. “You didn’t have to get me this, but I’m glad you did, Lex,” she said as her eyes glassed over. 

“I knew it represented something special by the way you were looking at it, and also by what you told me, so I decided to get it for you,” I replied smiling at her. Next came the wolf blanket. When she extended it on the bed and saw the image, her mouth fell open. “Lexa! This is so beautiful!” she said smiling at me.

“They’re mates. See,” I said pointing at the green eyed wolf, “This wolf is protecting the other,” I showed her.

She hugged me, “They’re us aren’t they?” she asked, rolling her eyes a little. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly to my chest and whispered, “Yes baby girl, they’re us and I will always protect you, ai keryon, I promise.” I heard her sniffle and I tightened my grip around her while I pressed our foreheads together just inhaling each other’s scent. After we separated she made her way to the last box; that was the smallest and when she opened it, I saw her gasp. She took both daggers out. “Babe, they’re beautiful but why are giving me your daggers?” she asked, looking at each very closely, watching the detail in each dagger.

“They aren’t for me, they’re for you actually. I know you have your gun but I thought it would be good if you had these as well. They can come in handy. I can teach you how to use them if you’d like,” I said as I walked towards her and took the daggers from her hands and placed them securely around her belt. I had the scabbards modified so it could easily be attached to her belt. 

“I’d like that alpha, a lot,” she simply said. “Oh by the way Clarke said to tell you thank you for the paints and art supplies. I forgot to tell you the other day. She really liked them. Roan had gotten some for her so our gift just added more to her collection.”

“I’m glad she liked it,” I said. 

The following day, approximately two weeks after Raven had arrived in Polis, we were on the training grounds and I was teaching her how to use the daggers when we heard the laughter of children - the Natblidas came running towards us. 

“Heda! Heda!” they screamed as they got closer. Raven looked at me questioningly. I just smiled and grabbed her hand. As the children came around me and hugged me I started laughing and knelt down and returned their hug. I introduced Raven as my mate to the Nightbloods and they were happy for me. Aden, the oldest of my novitiates asked to spar with me so I agreed while Raven and the other seven Nightbloods took a seat on the grass a little further away from us. As we sparred, I noticed Aden’s skills had improved greatly. He would become a great warrior and Heda if he continued with his training. Not long after, Aden and I finished sparring, Titus called out to the Natblidas to continue their training. 

“You’re really good with children Commander,” my mate said with a smile on her beautiful face. 

“I try. They’re our future, my love. We don’t live forever and the Nightbloods are like my children. Titus and I try to teach them as much as we could but most of all, we want them to love each other as siblings should,” I said watching them as they sprinted towards the Old Timer and I continued teaching her how to use the dagger. She had almost gotten it when a warrior came running towards me, “Heda! The Skaikru healer, Abby and two persons just arrived at the tower and are being escorted to the throne room. They say it’s important that they speak with you.”

Nodding my head I grabbed Raven’s hand and made our way to the tower. 

When we arrived in the throne room, Titus was talking with them but there was worry on his face. 

"Hello," I said, "What is going on?" Abby opened her mouth to speak but Bellamy interrupted her, "Heda, we are sorry for coming just like this but something bad almost happened last night," he said motioning to a woman, a beta to come closer. 

"This is Echo, my mate. She is Azgeda." I immediately frowned, raising my hand to stop him I said, "Before you continue..." 

Motioning to Titus, "Can you get Roan and Clarke please. I think they need to be here as well."

Titus bowed and went towards the door to ask a guard to get the other mates. We didn't have to wait long for them.

"Mom," Clarke said, going to hug her mom.

"Echo?" Roan asked. He made his way towards her and hugged her. "It's been some time since I've seen you."

Returning the hug Echo said the same. "It's good to see you Roan. How have you been?"

"Good," he said looking at me and noticed I was on edge. "But enough with the greetings. We can talk later. What is going on?" He asked.

Abby then spoke, "Okay, so let's get to the point. Commander," she said looking at me seriously, "Echo was sent by Queen Nia to blow up Mount Weather but when she arrived, she couldn't. According to Echo, Nia gave her a self destruct code to blow up the mountain, so what we did was create a small explosion to simulate an actual explosion thus, hopefully fooling Nia into thinking that the Mountain actually exploded. In reality, all that exploded was the entrance. Thankfully there are other entrances into the bunker.” 

"What? But how did Nia get the self destruct code?" Raven asked. We all wanted to know. 

"It was given to her by a man. His name was...was…. Carl...Carl something. I can't recall the other name," she said, still trying to remember.

"Carl Emerson. Mount Weather security detail," Clarke said monotonously looking at me as Echo nodded in affirmation.

“That son of a bitch is still alive?" Raven asked. 

I looked away from Clarke because it was he who offered me the deal to save my people at the expense of Skaikru. Titus came to me, "What do you want to do Heda?" he asked. He knew who Emerson was. I had told him of the deal I made and what transpired that day. 

"But there's more Heda," Echo said before I could answer, so I turned to look at her. "The queen also knows that Wanheda is her son’s mate. I don’t know her plans but Nia never does anything halfway. I believe she wanted to eliminate Skaikru to get to Wanheda. With no clan, Wanheda’s only kin would be her mate. I think she would have found some way to use Roan as a bargaining chip so that Wanheda can do her bidding. How? I don’t know but Nia is very calculating, very astute and intelligent,” she said, finally looking at Roan. “I’m sorry my prince, but, you better than anyone knows how she is and what she would do to get her way.” Roan just shook his head accepting her words and then wrapped his arms around his mate. 

“Heda,” Echo said, turning her eyes towards me, “There’s something else you should know,” Echo said. “Nia has a Natblida with her. Her name is Ontari. She is younger than you by maybe two or three summers. I don't know the specifics, but what I can tell you is that Nia found her in the mountains of Azgeda, all alone, hungry, destitute claiming that her family was killed. I believe Nia somehow brainwashed her into believing that you were responsible for her family’s death and now she has a tremendous hatred towards you. Moreover, Ontari has been trained by Nia's most highly trained warriors and assassins. I personally have had a hand in her training. The girl is an alpha, a strong one at that and highly skilled,” she paused wetting her lips. I could see she was nervous and unsure if I would believe her or not. I felt so frustrated, I wanted to scream. I didn’t realize I was letting out my alpha pheromones until Raven held my hand and I started smelling her calming pheromones. I inhaled deeply feeling myself calm down and lightly squeezed her hand back in appreciation. 

“When were you supposed to return to Nia?” I asked Echo.

“I wasn’t. The ideal scenario was that I somehow managed to make it out of the mountain before it exploded. If two days passed and I didn’t present myself to her, it will be assumed that I couldn’t make it and died in the explosion.”

“Good, so assuming that Nia thinks you’re dead, that gives us about two days to come up with some sort of plan for when she appears, because she will; I’m sure of it,” I said already trying to stay three steps ahead of Nia. 

“Heda?” Titus began but I cut him off.

“I imagine you all have been travelling all night and early morning. Why don’t you rest and then we can see how we can go about this,” I said, calling for my guard and asking him to escort the Skaikru party to the guests rooms. As they were leaving, Clarke said she wanted to speak with her mother so she accompanied them but before following her people she asked Raven to accompany her. My mate looked at me, “You’re good?” she asked and I nodded, “Yes. I think it’ll be good to be with your people don’t you think? "I replied. She smiled and followed Clarke out. Roan, Titus and I remained in the room.

“So, what now?” Roan asked.

“Let's go out on the balcony to talk,'' I told them. The three of us spoke for a long while going over the different scenarios that Nia could employ to use against Skaikru and Clarke. After, we discussed Ontari and what that could mean to my position. With Ontari, it was obvious what Nia wanted. She would find a way to get rid of me so that she can place Ontari as the new Heda thus, she can control the coalition. After speaking some more, we decided to leave the matter for the next day. I needed to be alone, I needed to think so I left for the woods. I was in the same spot Roan found me a couple of weeks ago just breathing some fresh air when I heard footsteps. I turned around and it was him _again_. “It looks like we like to meet in the woods huh Boy Scout?” I asked, grinning at him. 

“Yeah, so it seems,” he simply said standing next to me. There was a comfortable silence between us for a while. We just stood there listening to the sounds of nature. After a while, he spoke up, “You and I know that she’ll try to kill two birds with one stone.”

“I’ll crush the stone before it even hits the birds. You and I, my brother, must do what we must to protect the people we love. I know you’ll never allow anything to happen to Clarke and if I can help so will I. She and Raven are like sisters. If something happened to Clarke, Raven…” I sighed loudly.

“I know. I know. If something happened to you, Raven, she... I’ll do anything likewise Axel to protect our family. You know that right?” he asked looking at me expectantly. I hugged him and said I understood. We stayed in the woods for a while longer until we made our way back to the tower. When we entered the tower he made his way to his mate and I to mine. I knocked on her door and heard feet shuffling and soon enough the door opened. I could see relief in her eyes. She threw her arms around my neck and buried her face in my neck inhaling my scent; I followed suit. Once inside her room she asked if I was okay. I told her I was. She wanted to talk about what happened today but I kindly asked her not to. “Don’t worry baby girl,” I said passing my thumb over her cheek. “Nothing is going to happen and if it does, I need you to know that I will do everything to make it right. You, you are my first duty my mate. Don’t ever forget that. Everything I do, I do it for you, for us, for our family. Trust me please my love. Trust that I will always find a way to get back to you,” I said truthfully. She just tightened her arms around me.

Two days later, on Judgement Day, a coalition meeting was held to determine Nia’s fate. She had confessed to the destruction of Mount Weather and was brought in for sentencing. Roan, although not an ambassador, was present as the Prince of Azgeda. Thankfully my mate wasn’t present. I didn’t want Nia to see Raven. 

“Ambassadors of the coalition, the clan that stands against one of us stands against us all,” I said strongly. 

“Bring in the accused,” Titus said after me. 

As Nia entered the throne room with shackles on her hands I saw her eyes dart from Clarke to Roan. She eyed Clarke slowly. Titus asked Clarke what she had to say with regards to the loss of her people. All she demanded for her people was justice. Nia retaliated stating that Azgeda didn’t answer to Clarke, which Titus very proudly contradicted stating that Skaikru was part of the coalition; they were the thirteenth clan. He continued stating that the punishment for her crime was death then proceeded to ask her if she had anything to say in her defence. 

“I need no defense, she does,” Nia said motioning with her head towards me. “I call for a vote of non confidence.”

I was furious but tried to remain calm. My thoughts went to Raven and how good I felt when I was with her so I focused on her, ai keryon. 

“Take this queen to meet her fate,” Titus stated. I could hear the fury in his voice. Before the guards could take a hold of her, some ambassadors started standing up and defending her. Titus asked me to execute the traitors that had joined Nia but I simply raised my hand in the air stopping him. “Let her make her move,” I simply said. Then I noticed as almost all the ambassadors stood up in defence of Nia. 

“Commander what is this?” Clarke asked confused.

“This is a coup,” I said.

“This is the law, her law. A unanimous vote of the ambassadors or death are all that can remove a Commander from power,” Nia told Clarke, disdain plain in her face.

“It’s _not_ unanimous,” Clarke retaliated.

“We don’t recognize the legitimacy of Skaikru,” Nia seethed to Clarke.

“We do. Skaikru took the brand, They are the thirteenth clan. This vote of non confidence fails. All these coup plotters will suffer the same fate as the ice queen,” Titus said, barely containing his anger. The ambassadors looked at each other a little concerned now since the vote wasn’t unanimous. 

“She won’t take our heads because she knows our armies will retaliate. None of us here wants war,” Nia said turning around looking at all the ambassadors.

“We both know what you want Nia,” I stonily said to her, still sitting on my throne. Then, I got up and walked the few steps towards her, my confidence level set to maximum. “If you think me unfit to command, issue the challenge and let’s get on with it.”

“Very well, you are challenged.”

“And I accept your challenge,” I coldly stated.

“So be it. Solo Gonplei. Warrior against warrior to the death,” Titus said, sounding a little defeated. From the corner of my eye I saw Clarke looked at her mate confused but he remained impassive looking directly at his mother. Roan and I knew exactly where Nia was going with this.

“Queen Nia of Azgeda, who do you choose to be your champion,” Titus asked.

“My son, Roan, Prince of Azgeda,” she said looking directly at her son. Roan was furious, he was seething. If daggers could dart out of his eyes, Nia would’ve been dead a long time ago. Clarke turned her head instantly towards her mate, worry evident in her eyes. I turned to look straight into Roan’s eyes and we locked gazes while Titus asked, “Heda who will fight for you?” Clarke shifted her eyes to me but I simply turned around and headed back to my throne. 

As I sat on my throne looking at Nia I said, “Ai laik Heda. No one fights for me.”

The challenge was set that same day right before sunset. After everything was settled, I dismissed everybody and before anyone could approach me I walked out of the throne room heading for my quarters. I knew it was only a matter of time before my mate came to find me. As I entered my floor, I noticed my guards were standing by the main entrance to my quarters so I informed them that if Raven came to find me to let her in. They simply nodded and opened the door to my quarters. When I ascended as Heda, I didn’t like the layout of my quarters. It didn’t offer the privacy I wanted so I had carpenters come and do some adjustments to my floor. As the lift opened to my floor, the first thing someone would encounter were two of my personal guards standing behind heavy wooden doors. There was space for them to sit and a small area with a table and chairs designated for them to eat or rest. Once the doors opened, then my quarters came into view. As I walked in I saw the kitchen on the right stocked with fresh water, vegetables and bread and on the dining table was a bowl of fresh in season fruits. Moving to the couch that was a little to the left of the room, I sat and looked around. I never took the opportunity to actually take in my living space but for some reason I did that day. I noticed that in front of the couch was a small coffee table with some books that I was reading mostly when I couldn’t sleep. A little in front of that, was a rug draped on the floor directly in front of the fireplace. Right beside the fireplace was a door, the bedroom. I entered and inhaled the smell of fresh, clean linen. My bed was placed almost in the center of the room. On the right was a cement wall with cloverleaf design blocks that provided fresh air to circulate inside the room. Directly further down from the wall was a hallway that led to a spacious bathroom including a walk in shower and beside that was a large white tub, comfortable to seat two people. and on the other side of the bathroom was a huge walk-in closet. 

I went back inside the living area and sat on the rug in front of the fireplace so I could meditate and mentally prepare myself for the fight. My solace didn’t last very long because I heard when the door opened and Raven cleared her throat. 

“You have to fight to the death later on today. How are you so calm?” she asked. 

“You’re angry about the challenge aren’t you?” I asked my mate. She simply nodded.

“How else would you have me react when someone challenges me?” I slowly asked her. She didn’t answer.

“So how are we gonna do this?” she asked looking directly into my eyes.

“ _We_ aren’t doing anything. _I_ am the one that will do something. I will answer the challenge I have been dealt,” I simply said as I got up from the floor and made my way to her. I gently tugged her towards me so I could feel her warmth which she happily granted me. “Don’t worry baby girl,” I said as I began nibbling her earlobe. I knew we hadn’t started getting intimate again but I just wanted her to forget about the fight and just spend my time with her. Her presence calmed me, made me feel happy, loved. Her breath hitched as she melted into my arms. I took that as an initiative so I started kissing the side of her neck paying special attention to her scent gland. I licked it and sucked on it and was rewarded with a moan. I smiled into her neck as I continued my ministrations. She must have figured out what I was doing because she gently pushed me away and I whined. She simply looked at me and cupping my cheeks she said, “Alpha I know what you’re doing. Don’t even think that for a second I forgot why I was here.” With a serious tone to her voice she continued, “You aren’t fighting just anybody, you’re fighting against Roan, your friend, my friend, Clarke’s mate and to the death. It's not something to take lightly. What would happen if you killed him? What about Clarke? Would you be able to live with yourself knowing that you killed her mate. What if it’s the other way around? What if you die? How do you think that would make me feel? How do you think I would feel every time I looked at Roan happy with Clarke, while I was mateless?” she asked with tears in her eyes. “Lexa, I can’t lose you. I’m not strong enough. I need you. Do you understand that Alpha? You’re my alpha, Lex. Please don’t leave me,” she pleaded, hugging me tightly to her. 

“Shhh… baby girl, shhh… Don’t worry, it won’t come to that I promise. Trust me please. Please, understand Raven, that I would never do something like that. I meant it when I told Clarke that being without your mate hurts and I don’t wish it on anyone. Trust me please baby, trust that I know what I’m doing. Trust that my love for you is _so_ strong that I would never do anything to jeopardize it. I won’t make the same mistake as before. Please baby girl, say you believe me. You are my strength. If you don’t trust me, I have no strength but if you do, I have everything I’ll ever need to be strong for our people, our family, for us, my first duty,” I pleaded, while I hugged her tightly to my chest hoping she'd understand me. 

“I trust you babe, I do. I just want you and him to be okay,” she said, already calming down.

“Thank you ai keryon. Don’t worry, everything will be okay,” I told her.

“How? How do you know it will be okay?” she asked, her eyes red from crying.

“Because I am Heda and I have my mate’s love and strength propelling me forward to never give up, to never surrender, to always keep fighting, to always keep _living_ ,” I said emphasizing the last word. “Now, why don’t we go for a swim at the lake huh? I just want to spend the rest of the day with you. Can we do that baby girl please?” I asked hoping to somehow relieve her of this overwhelming feeling she had. She accepted and we made our way to the main kitchen in the tower and asked a cook to pack us something for lunch and then we headed towards the lake. We spent the entire day together just basking in the warmth of the sun and the warmth of each other as our bond continued growing until it was time to head back to reality. 

Roan and I stood before the ambassadors, Titus and Nia. We were in the arena at Polis, surrounded by onlookers. Standing beside Clarke up on the stage, was my mate looking at us. As Titus stood up, I kept my eyes on Raven and we locked gazes. I wanted her to feel my love radiating from my body towards her. I wanted her to be calm just like I was.

“In single combat, there is but one rule, someone must die today!” Titus’ voice rang through the crowds. My brother and I looked at each other, both wearing or war paints and looking menacing. I saw him nod knowingly towards me. 

“You may begin!” the Old Timer said motioning to both of us trying to hold back his restraint. Roan took a sword from a warrior and looked towards his mother; she simply nodded to him. I took a sword as well from another warrior and then looked up to meet Raven’s eyes. I smiled towards her when I heard my people yelling, “Heda! Heda!” I had only managed to turn around when I noticed Roan coming towards me menacingly ready to cut me, but I countered back and sliced his arm instead. He arched his back to hold back the pain and then turned towards me. I started attacking him with my sword but he stood his ground and put his sword and arm against my body. The only thing helping me was my sword; we were interlocked with both our swords in front of us.

“You’re done,” he snarled, gritting his teeth. He was trying to overpower me but then I grabbed hold of his sword with my free hand, cutting myself in the process but I didn't care. I pushed back and with the end of my sword knocked him in his face. He reeled back, not expecting it. We continued fighting till he knocked me on my knees causing me to fall back. I yelled in frustration as he kicked the sword out of my hand. I knocked him on his knee propelling him towards me and I punched him in his chin so he’d fall on his back. I quickly got up and picked both swords in my hands, swinging them in the air as he knocked out one of the warriors and took his spear in order to defend himself. We continued fighting; I started twirling in circles with both swords trying to out maneuver him but he managed to knock out both swords from my hands and kicked me squarely on my stomach as I fell on my back, getting the wind knocked out of me. He then swiveled the spear in his hands and braced himself to stab me with it. As he pushed down the spear towards me, I quickly reacted and turned sideways, hearing my people roar for me. I managed to sweep my foot under him and knocked him on his ass. He and I quickly got up and he started to swing the spear in circles trying to cut me off but I just ducked and I managed to take a hold of the spear and cut him on the leg which made him kneel in front of me. I then tried to cut him with the spear but he raised his hand to protect himself so with the other end of the spear I knocked him hard under his chin and saw blood spill from his mouth. He fell back and I pointed the spear towards his face.

Then I heard Nia from the stage yell, “Get up! If you die, you don’t die a prince, you die a coward!"

I looked at Roan and he clearly said, “Get it over with,” nodding his head looking me directly in the eyes. So, I took the spear and I quickly lifted it up, mustering all the strength I could and threw it directly towards Nia. I knew the bitch wasn’t expecting that! I heard the screams of the crowd as the spear impaled Nia on her seat. I saw Titus’ surprised face as he hurriedly got up from his seat then Nia slowly exhaled looking at me until she died. Ontari looked at her queen, shock evident on her face. Clarke and Raven were stunned. They couldn’t believe what I just did. 

“The queen is dead! Long live the king!” I yelled triumphantly.

Cheers erupted from the crowd as they started chanting, “Heda! Heda! Heda!”

I extended my hand towards Roan so he could get up. He smiled and said, “Thanks Axel, for not killing me. For a moment there I thought you forgot our plan.”

“No I didn’t. I just wanted to see how much of a pussy you could be,” I said smirking mischievously. 

“I’m gonna get you, dumbass!” he said, smiling at me. We were so wrapped up in our bantering that I didn’t notice when Ontari jumped from off the stage with a sword running towards me roaring, “I’ll kill you! You bitch! You’re dead Lex! Dead!” As I turned towards her, I pushed Roan from beside me so he wouldn’t get hurt when I saw the sword fall from her hand and she yelled out in pain. I then saw her grip her shoulder with her free hand but couldn’t take out what was stuck on her back. When she turned around I saw it. The dagger with the bird wings cross guard was sticking into her shoulder. I looked up to watch my mate with a shocked expression and when she locked eyes with me, she smiled. “Babe! You saw that? Told you I’m a quick learner!” she yelled from beside Clarke. I laughed and made my way towards her as three warriors took hold of Ontari and I heard Titus give them instructions that she be taken to the dungeons. When I reached the stage, she came close to the edge and I extended my arms towards her and she jumped on top of me. I held her tightly by the waist and whispered in her ear, “Yeah baby girl. You did good. You saved my life. Thank you.” She cupped my face with her hands, “I’ll always protect you, alpha. You’re my life, my soul,” she said, a glimmer of water falling from her eye. I kissed her on her forehead as the people started chanting, “Heda! Heda!” again. 

Later that night, as all four of us were having dinner, we told them that the day Echo told us what she knew, Roan and I met in the forest and we started talking and figured out that the only way for Nia to get rid of me was to kill me and the only she could do it and get away with it was by a unanimous vote or solo Gonplei. “That was why we weren’t worried when she pitted us against each other. We had already made a plan and we also knew that the vote wouldn’t work because you would be against it, love,” Roan said looking at Clarke.

“So it was single combat and we knew she’d pick Roan to be her champion. Having that in mind we simply made Nia do as she wished. But what she didn’t know was that we were hoping she’d do that so that I can get rid of her and place Roan as king,” I simply said.

“Had he done it himself, his people wouldn’t accept him right?” Clarke asked and we both nodded. “Yeah, but the best part was when Rae threw the dagger!” Clarke exclaimed looking at my mate. “You were so badass Rae!”

Blushing she said shyly, “Thanks, I have a good teacher,” as she looked at me. I grabbed her hand and kissed the inside of her palm. 

After dinner, Roan and Clarke left for their room and I walked Raven to hers. I sat on the couch as she rebandaged my hand. When she finished, she straddled my hips with her legs and rested her forehead on mine, “Lexa I was so scared today. I acted strong because I knew you needed me to be strong, but inside...inside I was crumbling. I couldn’t see Roan dying today. Clarke wouldn’t have been able to live with it. She’d be broken and I...I couldn’t see my life without you. I’m not as strong as you. Do you understand that alpha?” she said with tears in her eyes. “Lexa, I love you, goddess I love you so much and there is nothing to forgive. But, if you feel you have to earn my forgiveness, well, here it is - I forgive you Lexa and I want to reclaim you, my love." She continued, "Lexa Kom Triku, you’re everything I ever wanted, I never thought I’d have. Not even in my wildest dreams did I ever even think of a love like the one I have with you. You are everything to me baby. You are my beginning and my end and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I felt my heart soar and my breath hitched before my lips found hers in a sweet, tender, long drawn out kiss. I poured all my love into that kiss and felt as she did the same. Tears fell from both our eyes and as we kissed, we could taste them. 

“I love you Raven Reyes. Do you hear me, baby girl? I love you so damn much! I want to spend the rest of my life with you; forever with you,” I said as I heard her purr. My chest then began vibrating with my purr as well. I started kissing her cheek, chin and made my way down her throat paying special attention to her scent gland. I felt it swell as I kept sucking and nipping at it.

Almost trembling with need she huskily said, “Make me yours Lexa. Make love to me baby. I need my alpha. I need you inside me." That was all the incentive I needed to hear. I held tightly to her waist as she wrapped her legs around me. I got us up from the couch and made our way to the bed, where I gently placed her on the soft furs. She sighed into my mouth as she clung to my neck and pulled me tightly to her. My hands raked over her body feeling the warmth of her skin as I gently lifted her shirt and pulled it over her head and let it fall to the ground. I then removed the Skaikru binding she had on. With no more clothes on her upper body, my hand roamed all over her body. I cupped one of her breasts with my hand and placed my lips over her other nipple as I gently twirled it inside my mouth, eliciting a moan from her lips. I smirked and continued sucking on her nipple while my hand gently twirled her other nipple in between my fingers.

“Fuck Lexa, just like that baby. I love it.” Raven moaned as her hands raked my back feeling my muscles taut under her hands. She had already lifted my shirt to my breast so I pulled myself away from her leaving her breasts unattended as I removed both my shirt and binding. As soon as I was done, I brought down my head to kiss her neck and collarbone as she threw her head back granting me more access. My hands rested on each breast massaging them gently, driving my mate crazy as I felt her hands make her way to grab on to my ass and she squeezed it making a groan slip out of my lips and my hips involuntarily thrusted down. My lips travelled back up to her lips and I kissed her slowly and tenderly nibbling on her lower lip silently asking for permission which she easily granted. Our tongues battled for dominance but she relented and I took control of the kiss. I felt as her hands started unbuckling my belt till she managed to pop open the button and I heard the zipper slide down. She then placed her hands inside my boxers and gently massaged my butt cheeks. Goddess, that felt so _good_. I knew she could feel how hard I was. My cock was a throbbing, quivering shaft twitching with desire, ready to explode. I felt as she started pulling my boxers and pants down and I helped her remove them. It was a good thing that we had already removed our shoes. I was stark naked now and I felt as her hand rested on my cock and she started working it up and down with her hand gently stroking it. I groaned into her neck as I sought her scent gland again. "Mmmm… don't stop baby girl," I moaned as I started slowly thrusting into her hand. I moved my head slightly down remembering where my bite mark was. I started sucking and licking that spot, getting it ready for when I claimed her again. She continued stroking me as I started spreading her legs trying to accommodate myself when I realized she was still wearing her pants enjoying her ministrations so I started opening the button and sliding down the zipper and with my other hand I inserted it feeling soft hair finding it soaked with her omega juice. “Fuck, baby girl, you’re so fucking wet,” I said as I let two fingers easily slide inside her causing her to writhe beneath me.

“So fucking good, alpha. So wet only for you baby,” she said huskily already thrusting her hips up so I can take her in deeper. I felt her smooth, velvety walls sucking my fingers in deeper and I groaned at the sensation. With haste I pulled her pants and panties off and let it fall to the ground. 

I lifted myself from her a little and looked directly into her lust filled eyes, “I want to be inside you, I want you to feel every inch of my cock as I thrust into you hard baby girl. I want your pussy to milk me. I want to fuck my omega,” I said, growling as my alpha took control over me. 

“Then take what’s your alpha. Claim me. Show me how a good alpha takes care of her omega,” she said as she parted her legs, a silent gesture of trust and permission to take her, allowing me to settle between her legs. I growled at the invitation as I positioned my cock to her entrance. With one smooth thrust I was buried deep inside her. She gasped at the sudden intrusion as she adjusted. She was so fucking wet; so fucking ready. She moaned and her head fell onto the pillow as her eyes closed and her hips lifted from the bed pulling me in deeper. I closed my eyes just enjoying how good it felt to be inside her tight pussy again. I started thrusting slowly allowing her to further adjust. Once she had, I continued pumping in and out of her slowly, allowing my cock to caress her smooth walls as she writhed beneath me. Her nails slid down my back landing on my butt as she gently massaged my ass and pulled me further and further inside her all the while meeting my thrusts. “Lexa, you feel so good. Don’t stop alpha, don’t,” she mumbled over and over again. “Never! I’ll never stop baby girl, you feel so damn good,” I grunted as I filled her over and over again. The only sounds being produced was that of my cock thrusting inside wet slick walls and skin to skin slapping against each other as our moans, groans and grunts joined as well. I felt as her walls started to quiver letting me know she was close to cumming so I started thrusting harder and faster as I found her sweet spot. “Come for me baby girl,” I whispered into her ear as I felt her nails dig hard into my back and she lifted her hips one more time before I felt her walls clamp down on my cock and started pulling me, sucking me harder inside her. At the same time, I felt my canines extend and I bit into her sweet spot claiming my omega again. “Lexxaaaaa,” she screamed out as she came. Blood rushed into my mouth, mixed with her scent and I sucked on it until my canines retracted and I started licking the wound shut. “MINE!” I said into her neck. “Yours,” she replied. I then felt as her canines dug into my neck and she reclaimed me again. Pure, magical ecstasy. That was what I felt as I yelled, “Ravennn,” just as I finally came inside her when she bit my neck. I felt as her canines retracted and she whispered, “MINE,” into my ear. “Yours,” I replied back. We had reclaimed each other. I was so happy. I had my mate back, my home, my hearth, ai keryon back in my arms. We fell into an endless, happy sleep wrapped up in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and remember comments and kudos are always welcomed.
> 
> Also, I changed the tags, take a look.
> 
> I will be posting the last chapter by the end of the week, so until next time guys, enjoy and be safe!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it! The last chapter. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Trigger Warning: There is mention of rape. It is not detailed however, I'll mark it with asterisks just in case anyone wants to skip that part.

I woke up to gentle fingertips tracing the tattoo on my back. I smiled at the feeling, at all the tingles her fingertips left on my back. I heard her chuckle and then kisses on my neck. Raven paid special attention to my claiming bite that was still a little raw but the little licks and sucking felt so good that I moaned eliciting more chuckles from my mate and her hands curled around my stomach caressing my well defined abs up and down. Of course, as an alpha I had a six pack. As I opened my eyes, I guessed it was about mid morning by the position of the sun. I knew I had my duties to attend but the thought of leaving my mate was unbearable. 

“Good morning babe,” she whispered in my ear, nipping at my earlobe and gently pulling it with her teeth.

“Mmmm….. good morning baby girl. How’d you sleep?” I asked as I rolled onto my back and she settled on top of my naked body. Her warmth spread all over my body.

“Mmmm… I haven’t slept that good in a long time babe,” she said grinning. “The last time was when we were in the cave,” she continued, as she moved to kiss my neck and trail her tongue down my collarbone. 

“Ai keryon, that feels soooo good,” I moaned as I caressed her back up and down with my hands and finally settled them on her hips. Goddess, she was driving me crazy with her ministrations and my cock very quickly woke up. She must have felt my protruding shaft because she started slowly rolling her hips around my cock. I moaned at the sensation.

“Baby, if you continue doing that, I won’t be able to help myself,” I said, groaning. I could feel how wet she already was. 

“Why do you think I’m doing it alpha?” she asked playfully as she started rolling her hips faster onto my cock. In one swift movement I turned us over as I settled on top of her. I hooked her legs on top of my shoulders. With this position I knew I could deeply penetrate her. I started placing open mouthed kisses on her neck, nipping at her claiming bite. She moaned and she started breathing faster. I moved lower, taking her nipple in my mouth and sucking it, gently pulling at it with my teeth and rolled my hips so that she could feel how hard I was teasing her slick center.

“Fuck Lexa, don’t tease baby. You feel so good. Mmmm …. give me what I need alpha,” she pleaded as she lifted her hips towards me. Goddess, how good she felt! “Don’t worry baby girl, I’ll give you what you need,” I said as I gripped her hips and in one swift motion pushed my cock inside her tight, velvety walls as she cried out my name. I started thrusting in deeper as I felt her walls stretch to accommodate me. I felt her become more flexible the more I thrusted into her allowing me to go deeper inside her. I looked down at her and saw that her eyes were tightly closed and her mouth slightly opened as she moaned with pleasure. Her breasts were moving up and down in sync with my thrusts and I felt my alpha puff out her chest. Goddess, our omega felt so fucking good with a tight, wet, slick pussy just for us. Fuck! I couldn’t get enough of her. I felt her walls start clenching and knew she was close so I pulled out of her and heard her whine but I just smiled as I gently rolled her onto her stomach and raised her ass in the air to present for me. Positioning myself, I placed one hand on her shoulder and the other gripped tightly around her belly, locking her hips as I positioned my cock at her entrance and leaned forward and thrusted into her slick slit. She gasped, “Yes! Lexaaaaa, oh god!” she said as I was pumping inside her. A sheen of sweat had already formed on her back and it made her skin glisten in the morning light. “Is this what you want omega? To be fucked by your alpha?” my alpha asked through gritted teeth. 

“Yes,” she said gasping as I filled her, pounding into her as my balls hit her skin.

“Good cause you’re mine Raven, my omega, my mate, my first duty. Mine to love, mine to protect, mine to cherish, mine to fuck, MINE!” my alpha said as I felt her walls clenching, pulling me deeper as I spilled my seed into her, painting her insides. My canines extended again and I sank my teeth into her claiming bite again. I felt her slump forward on the bed and I followed suit, pinning her on the bed and I continued rutting into her. I don’t know for how long we stayed like that, just basking in the warmth of our love - our bond as we slept. The next time I woke up, I was between her legs, my head resting on her flat, toned stomach. I felt as she tenderly ran her fingers through my hair. 

“Babe it's almost noon. I think it’s time we get out of bed, don’t you think?” she asked, still stroking my hair. 

I buried my head into her stomach and tightened my hold around her waist and muttered, “I don’t wanna.”

She chuckled and said, “Baby, you’re Heda, you have duties and responsibilities to attend to. Come on get up. Tonight you can have me again and the day after, and the day after that, and after that for the rest of your life.”

I smiled as I lifted my eyes towards her. I liked the thought of that. I started trailing kisses on her stomach making my way towards her lips. We were kissing, when I heard a knock on the door. Instinctively, we both growled towards the person by the door.

“Never mind,” Clarke said as I heard her footsteps receding. I looked at my mate and we both started laughing. “See, I told you. It's time to get up,” my mate said.

“Okay, okay but on one condition,” I told her. She raised her eyebrow at me expectantly. “I want you to move into my quarters. We’re mates and I can’t be away from you,” she smiled, while cupping my cheeks with both hands and pulled my face towards her as she placed a gentle kiss on my lips, “Okay alpha, we’ll move in together cause I can’t be away from you either,” she said giving me one last kiss before she gently pushed me away from on top of her to fetch her clothes. I watched as she put on her underwear. She looked down on herself and gasped. “Babe! What’d you do to me? Goddess, it looks like I was devoured last night! Look at all the hickeys Lexa!” she exclaimed. Chuckling she said, “Wasn’t my claim bite enough? You had to mark all my body?” I just grinned as I admired my handiwork. Indeed I had marked her all over from between her legs, I had made my way to her waist, stomach, breasts and finally her shoulders and neck. I just shrugged as I put on my clothes, “Baby girl, it’s not like you were complaining when I did it. In fact, you liked it!” I said, smirking at her. She just rolled her eyes at me.

By mid afternoon, donning my Heda armour and warpaint I sat on my throne surrounded by my mate, Titus, Clarke and Roan, as we waited for my guards to bring Ontari in. I wanted to speak with her only around people I trusted and not in front of the ambassadors or other people. She walked in slowly as the shackles around her hands made noise. When she reached in front of me, she stood defiantly. Anger and hatred evident in her eyes. I could smell her alpha pheromones spreading through the room so I stood up and told her to tone it down because no one would be submitting to her. She didn’t listen and I could see it was starting to affect both omegas as well as Titus and Roan. I ordered her one more time to stop it but still, she didn’t listen. I growled and stepped right in front of her and started pumping out my dominant pheromones directed towards her. With all the training I’ve had over the years and through meditation I was able to pump out my pheromones to only affect the person or persons I wanted. It's the same thing I did back at Arkadia when I forced the Skaikru alphas to submit to me. I saw her fighting my pheromones. Her eyes started watering and her breath came in small gasps as sweat started forming around her forehead but still, she didn’t submit. She was strong, almost as strong as me, but I kept on pumping my pheromones barely breaking a sweat. After a moment, I saw her exhale harshly and her knees started buckling until she kelt and offered her neck in submission. 

“Well, now that that’s settled, let us back to business,” I said using my Heda tone. “Ontari Kom Azgeda, what you tried to do yesterday, is illegal and can result in your death. It was attempted murder.”

“If that’s the case, then you should have been dead already, _Heda_ ” she sneered at me. “You may seem different now, but that doesn’t change the fact that you so cruelly murdered an innocent man trying to protect his mate and child.” 

“What are you talking about? I have never done such a thing! What did I do to warrant such hate from a fellow Nightblood?” I asked already starting to get agitated at being accused of murder.

“Six winters ago, you invaded Azgeda with your warriors. They went from village to village slaughtering anyone who didn’t cooperate and who didn’t give them food and shelter. They killed the men, raped women and children. They said that Heda Lexa told them they can do whatever they want to the people of Azgeda because we were savages who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as everyone else. Queen Nia sent her warriors to stop them but they all fell by your warriors’ hands. They would kill them one by one in front of the main square as our people couldn’t do anything but simply watch. They said Heda Lexa had told them that Queen Nia was a stupid bitch who would never be able to match Heda’s power. My father, a simple beta hunter offered them everything we had so that we wouldn’t get hurt but that didn’t work. One day, while he was out hunting to put food on the table for his family, a group of _your_ warriors came pounding on our door. My scared mother hid me under some floorboards and told me to be quiet. She had just settled the rug over the floorboards when the door swung open and the men just entered asking why she didn’t open the door when they arrived. From the small opening I could see everything. She made up an excuse but one of them didn’t believe her and made his way towards her. He hit her. I saw as she flew towards the cupboard and was slightly knocked out. Another then said he wanted to have some _fun_ ,” she said as her eyes filled with tears at the memories. I felt sick to my stomach. “I never called your people savages and said those things and I also never called Nia a “stupid bitch,” I firmly stated already feeling anger coursing through my veins. Trying to collect my thoughts, I remembered something similar, but was told that the men were captured and executed for their crimes. This couldn’t be. No wonder she hated me so much. I saw both omegas’ eyes widen. Roan was frowning at this information and Titus’ face was in utter disbelief. 

********************************************************

She continued, as one tear fell from her eye, “They took turns raping her, she didn’t fight back because it would have been worse. At that precise moment, my father came back and when he saw what they had done he roared. Fury overtook him and he started killing them one by one but he was overpowered. The leader who was the first to rape my mother took his sword and ran it through my mother’s stomach smiling lecherously. I saw small amounts of blood start trickling down the sides of her mouth as she fought to breathe. My father started crying and fighting to get free so he could help her but then the leader took the same sword and plunged it directly into his throat. He died instantly choking on his own blood. The men then took what they wanted from us and left. I stayed under the floorboards till night just to make sure that they wouldn’t come back,” she finished. Her eyes were full of hatred as she looked at me. “I don’t know for how long I wandered through the woods just trying to survive, until my queen found me and took pity on me. She fed me, clothed me, gave me purpose. She promised that she would help me avenge my parents and she did. You see, _Heda_ , you took everything from me; my family, my childhood and my innocence. But don’t feel pity for me because three summers ago, I found them and killed them all. I finally gave my parents the justice they deserved, the justice _you_ so cruelly denied them by not doing anything.”

As I collected my thoughts, Titus said, “All of this must be a lie constructed by Nia so that you would believe Heda is a monster.”

“Oh but she is the monster!” Ontari retorted back pointing with her head towards me. “She allowed her men to kill and rape innocent people. How does that make her anything but a monster? Don’t stand there Flamekeeper and try to pretend that your precious Heda is some wonderful, loving alpha who claims to put her people first! She may not have been the one to plunge the sword but ultimately she is responsible for everything and it wasn’t something my queen conspired as you claim. She didn’t even know I existed until she stumbled into me in the woods when she and her men were patrolling. All that killing, all those innocent lives lost are on Lexa’s hands! She is the only one to blame! She’s the only murderer here!” she yelled at him. “She may appear to be your friend but, she won’t think twice to betray you and stab you in the back! Isn’t that what she did to your people Wanheda?” she asked Clarke but Clarke just looked at her. “Don’t answer. We all know the truth!” she finished saying.

“I am sorry for what happened to your family Ontari,” my mate said, making her way towards her, “I can’t imagine what that must have been like, especially at such a young age, but my mate isn’t a monster. Yes, she has made mistakes in the past. Who hasn’t? But, she’s learned from them. I know that is no excuse and I’m not trying to make one for her but how sure are you that these men were acting under Lexa’s direct orders? What if they were some faction that acted on their own? Have you ever considered that maybe these people just used her name to gain what they wanted?”

“You’re her mate? Are you serious? What must have the goddess been thinking when she granted Lexa a mate!” she simply said as Raven nodded in disappointment at Ontari and walked back to stand where she was before. “She doesn’t deserve one! She deserves to be alone for the rest of her life! The sins she carries should be all that accompany her for the rest of her damn life!” Looking directly at Raven she said, “To answer your question, I am sure as you are sure she’s your mate.” Turning to me, she asked, “How do you even live with yourself Lexa? You know what, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.” 

“Ontari, I am sorry for your loss -” I started but she cut me off.

“I don’t need your condolences Lexa much less your pity and that of your mate and the rest of these people,” she coldly said. 

“Nonetheless, I am still sorry for what you experienced but what those men did was wrong. Not only did they commit those horrendous acts in Azgeda but also in another clan. I had them captured and executed for their crimes.”

“Well fuck you Lexa! Are you stupid or what? Didn’t you hear when I told you that I found them three summers ago and killed them? I don’t know who you’re talking about but the ones that killed my family died by my own hand you fucking moron!”

“You will show respect towards Heda!” Titus said furiously.

“She is no Heda of mine! I do not recognize her as such,” Ontari said back to Titus.

“Enough! I can see that you don’t believe me Ontari and I can’t blame you for that but I didn’t know that all of that was happening. I am however sorry that it happened. I cannot take it back, I know. I can only hope that you can find peace now that you’ve avenged them. Still, what you did yesterday, cannot go unpunished. It is the law,” I insisted. 

“Look at how you easily sweep everything under the rug. Goddess, how the hell did you end up as Heda? Spare me all your ‘sorries’ _Heda_ and just kill me now,” she said flatly. 

“She will not kill you Ontari,” Roan finally spoke. “It is illegal to kill a Nightblood outside of the conclave, regardless of whatever crime they committed. She can only imprison you for the rest of your life or banish you from her lands.”

“None of those options sound like fun,” Clarke muttered. 

Adjusting myself on the throne I said, “I can never undo the damage caused to you Ontari, but as Roan said I will not kill you. I will not imprison you either. It's the same as killing you, condemning you to be alone for the rest of your life. It’s a life of darkness, so I will banish you from my lands. But know that you will never have the opportunity to be Heda.”

“I never wanted to be Heda. That was Nia. I just wanted to kill you.”

“So you admit it! You want to kill Heda!” Titus said furiously.

“Yes, I admit it. You see, that’s the difference between Lexa and I. I am not afraid to admit what my intentions are,” Ontari said. Looking me directly in the eyes. “I will kill you Lexa. Not today, not tomorrow but one day, I will kill you. So do yourself a favor and kill me now.”

“No, what you want Ontari is for me to kill you so the pain stops but I won’t do it. You want to escape your pain but death is not the answer. You should live. Find a way to overcome your demons and move past all the hurt, anger and hatred.” Standing up, I called for my guards and when they entered they bowed to me in respect. “Heda,” one of them said, “What is it that you wish?”

“I want you to escort Ontari Kom Azgeda to the borders of the dead zone. She is banished from my lands and if she should step into my lands again, she will be imprisoned for the rest of her life after all, it is illegal to kill a Natblida outside the conclave. No harm should come to her while she is in your custody. Is that understood?” I asked them. “Yes, Heda,” he replied. As she was being escorted out of the throne room she told me, “You will regret this Lexa. You should’ve killed me. I will come back I promise you!”

When the doors closed I stood and started making my way towards the balcony. 

“Isn’t banishment too lenient for her Heda? Wasn’t imprisonment better? She is angry and she did mean every word she said and an angry person tends to act before thinking,” Clarke stated.

“You are right about an angry person acting before thinking, Clarke but she is right. Nia didn’t brainwash her as Echo thought. When we were at war with Azgeda, in fact, when all the clans were at war, I did give my warriors the authority to do whatever they wanted to do. I was so young, so inexperienced. I know it’s not an excuse. Most of the time I acted before I thought things through. I was like a puppet. I listened to the wrong people who oftentimes had their own agenda. The clans weren’t united so everyone fought for what was right for them and their people. Not the greater good. Many things happened that I didn’t know of. When I was notified of what was happening, it was already late, many innocent lives were already lost. I ordered those men be found and executed but apparently I missed some as Ontari pointed out.” I said as I brought my head down in shame because she was right. All those innocent lives’ blood were on my hands.

I felt as Raven’s hands circled my waist and pulled me to her. “You are not to blame Lexa. Yes, what happened was horrible and the goddess knows what Ontari endured but you couldn’t be everywhere all the time. You relied on people to help you but they only helped themselves and used you. You are a good person, you are not a monster okay,’ she said but I didn’t want to listen. I knew she meant well but that wouldn’t erase the fact that I am to blame. I am Heda, I have to be responsible for everything. I felt as my tears fell from my eyes. How could such a wonderful day turn out to be so miserable by the end of the day?

I still had my head down when I heard the doors gently close and knew it was only my mate and I in the room. 

Now that we were alone, I raised my head and turned towards her. “What if she’s right Raven? I don’t deserve to have a mate. I don’t deserve to have you. I should be by myself; alone so that you don’t pay for my mistakes. If something were to happen to you because of me, I don’t know what I’d do. How would I live with myself knowing that you’re gone because of me?”

“It won’t come to that okay. Your love for me will never be a mistake, it is a gift and one we both will cherish for the rest of our lives,” she sincerely said, cupping my cheeks in her hands wiping my tears with her thumbs. “Oh babe, don’t doubt yourself, don’t go down that road please,” she said as she hugged me tighter. I melded into her embrace. She was soft and warm.

Still holding onto her, I pressed my forehead to hers, looking into her eyes and said, “After Clarke told me that you didn’t want to be unioned to me I made my way back to my tent outside the gates of Arkadia and I cried. I cried all night because you didn’t want me. In the morning, Titus found me on the floor and placed me on my bed and I fell asleep and I dreamt with the goddess. She was so beautiful, Raven. She told me that you and I were meant to be together. She said that we were made for each other and that we’d always find each other in every lifetime.”

“Yeah? She said that?” she asked with a big smile on her face.

“Yes she did,” I replied honestly.

“Then don’t doubt her baby. Don’t ever doubt that I love you. Don’t ever wonder if you deserve me or not because you do. You deserve me just as much as I deserve you. I’ll tell you something else,” she stated as she caressed my cheeks with the pad of the thumbs. “That day when I told Clarke that I wouldn’t marry you, I knew I made a mistake. I wanted to look for you and tell you that I didn’t mean it; that I wanted nothing more than to be your wife but I was so scared that you would hurt me again. When I decided that I’d rather go through all that pain again I went to look for you but you were already walking towards the gates. I wanted you to turn back cause I was there watching, as you walked away. I wanted to run to you and hold you in my arms and tell you that I loved you, that I missed you and that I’d rather feel my heart break all over again than never feel anything else again. Lexa, you are the love of my life. I will never love anyone the way I love you. You make me feel so loved that it feels as if nothing is impossible. You love me like I never thought anyone could ever love me. You _see_ me alpha, _you_ see _me_. Do you know how special I feel when you look at me with those beautiful green eyes of yours? You look at me as if I was the only person in the world; no one else exists. I can never get enough of that. So don’t ever think that you don’t deserve to be loved okay because you do. You deserve all the love in the world, my soul.”

She kissed me reverently and I could feel the love she poured in it. It was gentle, sincere, loving. I felt as it grounded me, as if it healed me. All the shame and regret I was feeling, felt like it was washed away with her kiss. I held onto her closer as I kissed her back hoping she could feel my love for her as well. 

When we parted, she had a smile on her face. “Better?” she asked as she ran her thumb on my cheek still. “Yes, much better. Thank you ai keryon. Thank you for loving me,” I said as I held her hands to my lips and kissed them gently. 

“Good. Now that that’s settled do you think it’s too early to talk about our union? I remember you told me that if ever I was ready you’d do it in a heartbeat. Does that offer still stand?” she shyly asked, smiling at me.

I looked at her for a moment then hugged her tightly to me and spun her around the throne room laughing as I took her by surprise but she managed to wrap her legs around my waist until I stopped and she untangled her legs and stood. I kissed her cheeks, her chin, her neck, her nose, her lips and laughing I said, “Yes! Yes! Yes! I want to be unioned to you Raven Reyes! To call you my houmon is a dream come true. Oh! I love you so much,” as I buried my face into the crook of her neck and sucked on her claiming bite and was rewarded with a moan and a tighter hug. I heard as her laughter filled the room and my heart soar with happiness.

“When do you want to do it?” I asked her, after I pulled myself a little away from her.

“As soon as possible. We’ve lost months, Lex, I don’t want to waste anymore time. I want to fall asleep in your arms, wrap my arm around your waist, rest my head on your chest and feel safe and protected then wake up to gentle kisses and caresses, all wrapped up in your love,” she said as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Un-unless you’d rather wait,” she added, with a little uncertainty. 

My vision was blurry because of the tears that pooled around my eyes. Cupping her cheeks in my hands I asked, “What about tonight? Is that too soon?” Hope radiating from my eyes. “B-bu-but we don’t have too. I know you’d want your friends around and we can do that. We can do whatever you want,” I hurriedly added.

“Tonight is perfect. Yes, I’d like my friends around but I don’t want to wait to start my life with you. We’ve waited too long. I have Clarke and I know she’d be happy for us and we also have Roan, Titus and Myra. They’re all our friends right? We have everybody we need. So, alpha,” she said, holding my hands in hers that were still on her cheeks, “I want to be your wife tonight. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“Okay, let’s do it!” I said with a big smile on my face probably looking like a dork but I didn’t care, I was marrying the love of my life tonight!

To say we took everyone by surprise would be putting it mildly. The Old Timer and Boy Scout stood in front of me with their mouth wide opened but nonetheless, congratulated me and gave me warm hugs. That night, in the throne room, Raven Reyes became my houmon. The ceremony was performed by Titus and Myra assisted him especially when it came to tying the knots around our hands as a symbol of our union. Naturally, Clarke and Roan were our witnesses. Raven was dressed in a simple but elegant off white dress that accentuated her curves beautifully and of course, I was dressed in my Heda armour with my red sash draped over my shoulder. Before the ceremony was over, Raven had a forest green sash draped over her dress symbolizing her status as Hedatu. Following the ceremony, we had a small dinner. Everyone was happy and in good spirits. We spent two uninterrupted days together in our quarters. Thank the goddess, our kitchen had been fully stocked with grilled meat, fresh fruits and vegetables, fresh water and wine. Those two days, Raven said, was our honeymoon. I didn’t know what that term meant so she explained it as we made good use of the rug in front of the fireplace. She had taken the pillows and blankets from the bed and made a nest for us and when it was chilly, she’d wrap us up with the “wolves mates'' blanket. Laying on that rug, wrapped around each other we made love over and over again. Our bond, our love growing stronger and stronger. Word of our union had already begun to spread throughout the coalition. Skaikru wasn’t surprised of course as they knew that Raven and I were mates and it was only a matter of time before we’d find each other again. 

On the third day after our union, a coalition meeting was held and I presented Raven as my mate and Hedatu. I could see a mixture of expressions on the ambassadors’ faces. Some were happy, some were not but all accepted our union nonetheless, not that it affected us either way. I also took the time to officially announce Roan as King of Azgeda. During the meeting, he expressed his sincerity in changing the perception of his clan and promised to support and work more closely with other clans. As king, I knew it was only a matter of time before I wouldn’t have his companionship much longer with us as he had to return to Azgeda, but I wasn’t completely sad because he wasn’t going alone, he was going with Clarke, his mate. She was now the queen of Azgeda and as such she could no longer be Skaikru’s Ambassador, so Kane stepped up and became the new ambassador. It was a bittersweet moment when it came time to say goodbye. Raven and Clarke couldn’t stop hugging and crying. Roan and I also hugged, a tinge of unshed tears in our eyes was present but as alphas we knew we had to be strong for our omegas. Roan promised that he and Clarke would try to visit as often as they could and I said the same. “I’ll miss you dumbass,” he said, gently smiling as he held onto my hand. “I’ll miss you too dumbass,” I said back, my lips slightly trembling as I held back a sob. The Old Timer and his family were also sad but happy that Roan was now King and that it would bring about a better change to the coalition and Azgeda on a whole. The Old Timer came closer to where we were standing and extended his arm to shake Roan’s. Roan smiled and pulled him into a tight hug. “No handshakes Old Timer. We’re family right? We give hugs!” he said lightly laughing as Titus returned the hug. “Goddess, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’ll miss you dumbass,” the Old Timer said as he patted Roan on his back. Laughing Roan said, “Me too Old Timer. Me too.” We watched as he and Clarke mounted their horses together along with Echo and Bellamy and their small entourage of warriors and made their way outside the gates of Polis towards their new destination, towards their home. I pulled Raven to me and she placed her head on my chest and sobbed. I just held her tightly, gently kissing the top of her head as I pumped out soothing pheromones until she calmed down and then we made our way back inside the tower, our home.

During the few months that followed there were a lot of changes in Polis. Raven took on more responsibilities as Hedatu and was often present at coalition meetings. She was a natural leader although she barely gave herself credit. Not that she needed it. It was obvious to everyone who came in contact with her saw what a natural leader she was and on top of that, she was a mechanic and explosive expert. And still during all of these changes, I never forgot to put her first. There were days when I would wake up before her and I’d go to the kitchen and prepare breakfast for us. With scrambled eggs, buttered toast bread, peach slices and fresh brewed tea I’d wake up my wife. There were times when she would come into the bedroom to find a vase of flowers placed on the nightstand with a note, “I love you, ai keryon,” was what I usually wrote on it. On those stressful days, we would relax in our big tub. I’d massage her tensed shoulders, tired feet and make love until the water cooled, then I’d take her to bed and continue adoring her body. On certain days, I would go to the stalls and get my favorite snack - chocolate covered pretzels and leave it on our dining table as well as other sweet treats for her to enjoy. Also, on my trips to the market, I’d get her seasonal clothing and other textiles I thought she could use. I loved doting on my omega, so I made everyday as special as I could. There were days that we would end up going to the lake for the entire afternoon, just relaxing and making love in the water. One day while I was walking around the training grounds, I saw her throwing daggers onto a target, she never missed, she was now an expert. One afternoon, after a long morning of meetings, I took her for a walk around Polis. We made our way to a big building that was barely used. Since none of our people had a use for it, the building was used to store whatever tek people from all over the coalition had found and couldn’t trade so they just deposited it inside the building. When I opened the door and ushered my houmon inside, her eyes lit up. She began jumping up and down talking excitedly about what she was seeing. I just let her because I knew nothing of tek and seeing her so happy made me happy.

“Baby, you had this place the whole time and didn’t say anything!” she playfully yelled at me already rummaging through the various items. Walking towards her I said, “Baby girl, I have no use for it but I know you will.” 

“Of course babe! Look! Solar panels,” she said pointing to some rectangular shaped things made out of glass. “Do you know what I could do with these?”

“Nope, but I’m sure you do,” I said, wrapping my hands around her waist and pulling her towards me. She noticed and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. Her lips were so soft and her body so pliant and warm, I felt myself getting hard. I knew she smelt my arousal because she just grinned as we continued kissing.

“Alpha, this place is dusty and dirty and we aren’t making love here okay so tamp down those desires for later okay,” she said nibbling my lower lip. Too late! “Omega I can’t wait. Do you not see how much I want you? How much I want to be inside you,” I said huskily as I made my way towards a wall and pinned her against it already kissing and sucking her neck leaving hickeys. She moaned and gave in easily. She started unzipping my pants as I did the same to her. When my cock was free on any confines I crouched down a little and wrapped my arms behind her knees and lifted my wife as she wrapped her legs around my waist and I plunged deep inside her thrusting in and out all the while grunting as I filled her as she gasped and moaned in pleasure. Her legs gripped more tightly to my waist as she started moving her hips against mine moaning. “Fuck babe, you feel so damn good, don’t stop,” she said as she continued moving. Feeling energized by her admission I said encouragingly, “That’s it baby girl, ride your alpha’s cock. Make yourself feel good,” as she continued moving faster and faster impaling her tight walls deeper around my throbbing cock. After more thrusting and finding her sweet spot, I felt her walls quivering signaling she was close to climaxing. I adjusted our position as I leaned a little away from her without disconnecting us as I pumped furiously deep inside her warm, moist, slick pussy. I must have entered a mini rut as I felt my knot start to form at the base of my cock as I continued to fill her. “Lexxxaaaaaa,” she screamed into my ear as she came. I only lasted a little longer as I felt my knot latched inside her sealing my seed as I painted her walls grunting as I rutted inside her. A chain of sweat was laced around her forehead and I leaned forward and kissed her gently. After a few moments, as she started breathing a little more normally she said smiling, “I told you I didn’t want to make love in this dirty place but my overzealous alpha couldn’t wait could you?" Before I could answer she continued, "Babe, you're in rut?" She asked me. "Umm… I'm not sure. I think it's like a mini rut. Did I hurt you? I know you're not in heat and my knot could've -" 

"Shhh… you didn't hurt me. I was just surprised that's all. Just don't move too much okay,” she requested. Not wanting to hurt her I simply nodded. 

I looked around and saw an old blanket laying beside a table not far from where we were. Adjusting my grip on my wife I started slowly moving towards it. "Babe, what are you doing?" She asked nervously as she held tighter. "Blanket," was all I said, as I motioned with my head towards it. When we reached our destination, I gingerly knelt and turned us around as I settled myself on the bottom and my mate on top of me. I felt her relax against me as she got more comfortable. I wrapped my arms around her back and whispered in her ear, "Rest baby girl we're gonna be here for a while." She lifted her head slightly and placed her soft, luscious lips on mine and kissed me tenderly. We stayed like that for about an hour allowing my knot to deflate so I could pull out of her. 

Standing fully clothed now she turned to look at me and said, “I could definitely find some use for all of this. Hey! Maybe I can make the lift work with solar energy instead of manual labor. What’d you say babe?” she asked. I could already see the gears turning in her head. 

“Sure baby girl, whatever you want to do,” so during the following weeks, Hedatu had taken it upon herself to power the elevator to work with solar energy. It took her many days studying the structure of the lift and trying to figure out how to best place the panels so that they store energy that was needed to power the lift automatically. She tried explaining the process to me but I didn’t understand anything so I simply stayed with her every now and then when I had completed my duties however, she kicked me out because “I was a distraction,” according to her which, honestly I was. Most of the time we were together, I’d end up cock deep inside my houmon. I just couldn’t resist! She was so stunningly beautiful and alluring that I just sat there and admired everything she did. I wasn’t much help when she asked me to hand her tools either because I was so enthralled with the frowns and smirks she’d make as she fought with the parts she was trying to fix. One day I was making my way out of the throne room towards the lift when I heard it make a beep noise and the doors suddenly opened. Inside was Hedatu, smirking at me, a fine line of oil had settled on her chin but still, she was so gorgeous. I just stood there like a dumbass with my mouth opened. She then came out of the lift and made her way towards me and gently closed my mouth and grinning, “Well Heda, I’m sure you can see the lift now works on solar power so no more _strong, brawny handsome men_ need to stand and rotate the wheel,” she said huskily emphasizing the last part. I didn’t hear the first part but I definitely heard, “Strong, brawny handsome men” and I growled as I roughly pulled her to me. “Baby girl, you’re MINE! Just MINE! It’s best you don’t forget who's your alpha,” I said snarling as jealousy coursed through my body, possessive alpha hormones already filling the space around us. She threw her head back laughing as her arms wrapped around my neck. After a little while she said, “My, my, my mighty Heda. You sure are the jealous type aren’t you? I like it! It’s so fucking sexy and quite frankly it’s turning me on,” she said as she placed her lips on mine and roughly kissed me. Her eyes had turned black already. I felt my cock twitch and as quickly as I could I threw her onto my shoulders as she yelled in surprise and made my way towards the elevator and pressed the button to our floor. Once inside our quarters, I made my way towards the bed and threw her on the bed and jumped on top of her. That day, I made sure Raven knew she belonged to me. “I’m the only alpha who’ll fuck you and who you’ll ever give yourself to,” my alpha growled as I made love to her. I marked her entire body with hickeys and little nips all over that sexy, toned, gorgeous body of hers. Those strong, brawny handsome men ended up being responsible for making the lift work and were taught by Raven how to maintain the panels and how to fix them in case something went wrong. 

Raven and I had been married for six months when construction of the radio towers began throughout the coalition. This was an estimated three year project. This was mainly because the installation of the radios and adjustment of signal was to be conducted by Skaikru which unfortunately consisted of only three experts - Monty, Sinclair and Raven. The actual construction of the towers were to be executed mostly by woodcutters and carpenters from around the clans. The process of selecting the best logwood, cutting it and preparing the wood in order to build the towers was time consuming. It was a process that took almost ten weeks. The remaining two weeks included the actual installation of the radios, signal adjustment and establishing communication. Raven could not dedicate her entire time to the project so she had to divide her time between the radio installation and her responsibilities as Hedatu. For this reason, Raven would only be present for the radio installation process and signal adjustments. Naturally, I accompanied her during the installations and took the time to see to my people’s needs and ensure that they know that their Heda has not forgotten them. I would hear their concerns, resolve any matters that needed my attention and so on. Of course, my mate was no fool and knew that even though I insisted that the reason I came with her was to look after my people and see to their needs, I was mostly there because I didn’t and couldn’t stay away from her. She was my first duty. Just the thought of having to be separated from her for two weeks was mental torture for me and my alpha whined too. We were together and that was all that mattered. Waking up and falling asleep in each other’s arms were surreal moments for us; our bond was strong as ever. 

Due to all the travelling and strenuous work that this project was, Raven and I decided not to have pups right away. We decided that after the completion of this project, we would dedicate our time to forming a family and so during her heats, Raven took the specially made tea. 

It was in the first year of the radio installation project that Azgeda’s turn came. Of course, being reunited with our friends was important, so that was the only time that my mate and I stayed away from Polis for almost an entire month. We had wanted to spend time with them and I also wanted to see the changes that both mates had made in Azgeda now that Nia was out of the picture. The changes just like everything else was slow. People were still cautious around their king, waiting to see if he would turn out to be like his mother but that never happened. Roan was the opposite of his mother. He cared for his people and his mate as well. Even though Clarke was Skaikru, she still held the title of Wanheda and the people were also cautious around her but with Echo’s help, little by little the king and queen of Azgeda gained their people’s trust and ultimately love. However, their Heda was still another story. They still did not welcome me because of what happened in the past; not that I blamed them. I tried to show them that I wasn’t the monster they thought me to be but again, change was slow almost at a snail’s pace but my wife’s support gave me the strength and confidence to be optimistic that eventually they would accept me. It was also at this time, when Clarke and Roan told us that they were expecting their first pup. Clarke was three months pregnant. We were overjoyed for them and offered our congratulations. 

“So Axel, when are you planning on expanding the family,” Roan asked grinning at me.

“After all the clans have been equipped with the radio towers. Raven and I don’t think it would be good for her to work while pregnant. I think it would be unwise for her to be stressing while she’s pregnant and not to mention all the travelling, right baby girl?” I asked looking at my wife. 

“Yeah babe. I can’t see myself with a big belly travelling many hours and especially if the conditions aren’t good. I would rather wait,” she said looking at him and Clarke.

“Well I think that’s a wise decision Rae,” Clarke said. “You have to put your health first as well as your child’s. Besides, you’re still young so after you’ve done working you can take all the time to just relax and enjoy your pregnancy,” Clarke added. 

We were married for a year and half and it was during one of her heats when we were in our room, that Raven asked about the conclave and consequent ascension of the Commanders. She knew that there was a conclave, but she didn’t know the process. When I told her how I became Heda, after having to kill all my brothers and sisters, well except for Luna, she was appalled and called it, “barbaric and an unnecessary bloodshed” to which I agreed. I then proceeded to tell her that the first year I took over as Heda, I tried to change it, but I was so inexperienced, so easily manipulated that at the first chance of resistance I gave up. I didn’t even have the Old Timer’s support, but I believed it was because he was testing me out. Titus and I didn’t have the best relationship in those early years. He wasn’t a bad person, but he strictly believed in following the law and tradition to the letter and I didn’t. I believed that sometimes, the law must be bent and tradition must accept change. The following year, three years after ascending, Titus and I had started forming an amicable friendship and he also changed I think because of his mate, she was pregnant at the time with Sam. Becoming a father somehow changed him. He started talking more to me and seeing things my way more often than not, so together we tried to change the laws about the conclave process but, there was resistance and also we didn’t have a coalition. It wasn’t until two years after that, five years since I had ascended that we proposed a change towards the conclave but still it wasn't accepted since at that time there were only about seven clans that were part of the coalition; the others still resisted. “Not until recently can we say that we have all clans united, ai keryon,” I told my mate. “Azgeda was the last to be part of the coalition until Skaikru arrived.” 

“But, now that all the clans are united, I believe we can change it babe. You, me, Titus we can lobby for change and I know that both the king and queen of Azgeda would back us. If Nightbloods are rare, why have them kill each other so that only one remains? It doesn’t make sense. I would think that the more Nightbloods the better for everyone.” she stated.

“That would the best scenario baby girl, but it’s not accepted because according to past Flamekeepers and Commanders, if more than one Nightblood were to live then there is the possibility of jealousy that could lead to competition between them and it could result in both their deaths, then who will lead our people? You see? That is why, it was established that only one Nightblood should live so as to eliminate that problem entirely,” I answered back. 

“I get it babe, but still, I believe that there should be another way,” she said, a frown already developing on her beautiful face as she started thinking of a way. After a moment she said, “Babe, has it ever been considered that maybe these Nightbloods pups don’t even want to be Heda? What if they want to be healers, farmers, carpenters, teachers? Look, if I were a Nightblood, I’d be scared because I’d know that I would be separated from my family, taken to Polis and trained to become a warrior and consequently after I would have to kill all the persons I’ve come to care about as my brothers and sisters just to become Heda with a big possibility that I’d die in a couple of years. I know that you better than anyone can relate to that and when we have a pup and he or she is born a Nightblood? Just the thought of our child having to kill or be killed is enough to drive me over the edge. I’d be damned if I spent nine months loving and feeling our pup grow inside of me just to have him or her die at a young age. I know you feel the same way. What if the process in which a Heda is selected were to change? What if instead of killing each other which in my opinion only tests their physical ability as a warrior, it could be changed to also include their mental ability to be a leader, to solve problems, to think and assess what’s the best way to approach everyday problems? What I mean is that instead of selecting a Heda based on their physical prowess, the selection process should also include their ability to lead, to show strength through mental and physical means. Again, you know better than anyone that being Heda is not only based on your fighting ability and war planning but also on leading; and not only leading during a war, but leading _all_ of the coalition, all of the time.”

“Baby girl, Titus and I have thought of all of that and we tried to convince the ambassadors and other Flamekeepers to change but they still refused. I think we would have to add or expand on that idea if we want to change it and you’re right. I wouldn’t want our child to go through what I had to do. It marks you and I wouldn’t want that for our pup,” I told her sadly but yet determined now more than ever to change the conclave. I wouldn’t allow my pup to go through what I did.

“Babe, Lexa, baby don’t be sad. That’s why you have me okay so that I can help. Aren’t I Hedatu? What I say counts right? So if I support you and Titus, together we can change everything for the better and like I’ve said, Clarke and Roan would also help especially now that all the clans are united. Maybe now is the right time to try again. What’d you say baby? Help me help you change the world for our future children’s sake,” she said optimistically. 

I looked at her, “Children? How many?” I asked, my heart beating rapidly inside my chest. She wants more than one! “As much as we want. I didn’t have any siblings growing up, so we’re definitely having more than one, alpha,” she said smiling and kissing me gently. I silently sent a prayer to the goddess for giving me Raven. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. She’s the light of my life. She can make everything sad bright with just her words and those soulful brown eyes. “Okay, so how do we change the conclave?” I asked her. 

“Let me think it over and then we’ll discuss it with Titus and see how we can go from there okay,” she said, cuddling into me. 

Over the next months that unfortunately turned into years, my wife and I along with Titus started lobbying for change however, we were met with resistance. We knew it was bound to go like this but still we persisted and along with Clarke and Roan we started to make a change, little by little. It would be a long time before we could call it a success, so in the meantime, while my wife and I were away from Polis we left a Nightblood in charge of ruling in our stead. Naturally, not all power was given to them. Titus along with Gaia, Indra’s daughter and future Flamekeeper after Titus retired of course would test their mental ability as problem solvers and leaders. Titus was ultimately in charge and if there was a matter that needed my absolute involvement, I would come back to Polis to resolve the matter but given the peace that the coalition was experiencing Titus never asked that I returned to Polis immediately. The Nightbloods would be tested based on different types of scenarios and ask to solve the problem. At first, they were nervous and often doubted themselves but it was Aden who started showing potential and who started encouraging them not to be afraid of facing these situations. He was the oldest and as such felt it was his responsibility to encourage and support his fellow brothers and sisters. I knew that when my time was over, Aden would rise to the challenge and become Heda. 

We managed to complete the project in three years as estimated and all clans were now in communication with each other, eliminating the need for messengers and runners throughout the coalition. This brought more cooperation among our people. Things were progressing, our people were more happy, more settled. Trade increased and all this time, Abby and her assistant Jackson had taught our healers their medical practices and methods used thus decreasing the mortality rate of our people. Things were so good, so peaceful; a sense of completion and tranquility spread throughout all the coalition and I was the happiest person of all. I, along with my wife and family and friends had united all our people. I felt a sense of accomplishment at everything that we had achieved and I couldn't be prouder of my wife. She was everything to me and I kept my promise to our goddess. I doted on Raven, I gave her everything she needed and wanted although she never asked but I still knew what she wanted. I put her first, my first duty always. I kept my promise I made to her. Every morning she’d wake up in my arms and every night I put her body to sleep with sweet, tender, loving caresses and kisses. At this time Raven and I had been together for almost four years. But, everything changed. 

Everything took a devastating turn and my world became dark and void of light. I was so happy and in love with my wife, however, I failed to protect her; I failed to see the dangers that started surrounding us until it was too late, until I lost her. 

It started with small altercations between bandits from the dead zone and clan members. These bandits would enter the clan’s territory and raid from the people. At first, it was mostly their food and possessions but then they got bolder and started killing people. Obviously, with radio communication now available, other clans were notified to be on the lookout for these bandits and were ordered to seize them and taken to Polis for trial since murder was a major crime. After their initial trial and subsequent imprisonment, there was a sense of peace again. Unfortunately, it didn’t last. A couple of weeks later, there were reports of another group of bandits and so the same procedure followed but this time instead of imprisonment, the guilty were executed so that anybody who got ideas would quickly change their minds. It seemed to work because there were no reports of bandits for a couple of months. 

We continued living our lives filled with love and happiness. With our mating cycles now aligned, I woke up one morning feeling heat radiating from my wife's body. I turned to look at her and noticed she was sleeping but she was drenched in sweat. Her scent, now more alluring and sweeter invaded my nostrils and my inner alpha perked up, possessiveness taking over me. "MINE!" my alpha snarled as I felt my body heat rising up. She must've heard me because she started moving, her hands automatically going to her center to try and alleviate the burning sensation. I growled and in one swift motion, I inserted two fingers inside her slit. She was soaking wet, her slick covered my entire hand in seconds and she started panting and writhing under my ministrations. With my alpha in control, I pulled my fingers from inside her and turned her over lifting her ass in the air. My alpha howled inside my head as I saw her center slick and dripping wet so I rubbed my red, throbbing cock in her juices lubricating it before I tightly gripped her waist and inserted myself. I started thrusting, deeper and faster, already feeling my knot fully extend out and protruding slightly at her entrance. "Knot me alpha please! Fill me up," my wife begged, as her inner omega had taken control of her. I did as she asked and inserted my knot sealing myself inside her as I came, all the while feeling her walls clench as she milked me. I then gently pressed her against the mattress, panting, trying to catch my breath. After a little while, I moved to my side and wrapped my arms possessively around the swollen belly. We stayed inside our quarters for an entire week as we gave into our primal needs. About six weeks after our mating cycle ended, I noticed that the breakfast I had prepared for her was left unattended and I found her laying on the bed, resting. “Hey ai keryon, are you okay? Do you feel bad? You didn’t have breakfast? Is something wrong?” I asked worriedly. “No babe, nothing’s wrong. I just didn’t feel hungry. I felt a little nauseous and tired but don’t worry, the bad feeling has started going away,” she replied, smiling and I leaned forward to kiss her then I buried my nose in the crook of her neck and noticed a change in her scent. She had a sweet musky smell mixed with her lavender and honey scent. Quite alluring and sensual. I asked her about it but she replied that she had recently changed her shampoo, so I just nodded and didn’t mention it again. 

A few days later, believing that the danger had passed, my wife decided she wanted to go to Arkadia. She said she missed her people, so together we made plans to visit Arkadia. When we arrived, we were greeted by Abby and we spent the morning talking about the progress the healers had made now that some of Skaikru’s methods were being employed by the other clans. In the afternoon, I decided to head to TonDC to see how things were going there. I asked Raven to come with me but she said she wanted to spend some time with Octavia so I left telling her that I’d be back by nightfall. I kissed her goodbye and left. It was sunset when I decided to go back to Arkadia. I had timed it so that I would arrive just in time for dinner with my wife and lay down for a peaceful night. The distance between TonDC and Arkadia wasn’t that long; it was only about an hour by horse. All the while I was riding back, I kept having this unsettling feeling like something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out what it was. When I arrived at the gates of Arkadia, Octavia and Lincoln were waiting for me.

“Heda,” Octavia said nervously.

“Yes,” I answered. “What is it?”

“Umm… Heda we can’t find Raven. I was hoping she was with you,” Octavia said looking at the ground. When she lifted her head I could see the worry in her eyes. 

“Wasn’t she supposed to be with you?” I asked a little irritated now because I had no idea where Raven was.

“She was Heda! But then she told me she was feeling a little tired so I assumed she went to lay down. After a while I went to look for her but I couldn’t find her. I checked all of Arkadia and she’s nowhere. I came and asked at the gates and one guard said he saw her walk out so Lincoln and I went out looking but we can't find her,” Octavia said in one long sentence.

I had already started panicking so I ordered her and Lincoln to get a team together and we began searching the forest nearby. After a while of searching, there was still no Raven and my mind kept racing trying to figure out where she could be but something kept telling me that something bad is going to happen. I was tired but I couldn’t give up. I barked out orders to continue finding our Hedatu. Night had already fallen and so searching in the dark forest was harder. Propelled by instinct, I started sniffing the air trying to find her scent. After a while, I picked it up but it was faint so I continued sniffing until it got a little stronger. I was on my horse sniffing but it seemed as if the scent was stronger closer to the ground so I got down from the horse and started walking almost crouching while I sniffed closer to the ground when I heard faint shuffling on the dried leaves. I started yelling for my wife, “Raven! Raven! RAVEN! Where are you?” but no answer when I felt an arrow hit me on my leg. I grunted in pain but before I could take it out, I felt another sting on my shoulder and another on my stomach. I had three arrows protruding from my body. “Fuck me! What the fuck,” I muttered when I heard a loud scream. “Raven!” I yelled out and started running towards the scream. As I came close to the scream I noticed my mate running towards me, fear evident on her face. “Baby girl!” I yelled running towards her when I heard the gallop of a horse. In the darkness, I couldn’t see the face clearly until it got closer. “Ontari?” I said confused. I saw a sinister smile on her face as she threw away her bow and took out her sword and lifted it up and directed her horse towards my wife.

“NO! NO! NO!” I yelled as she plunged the sword into Raven. It entered her from her back and came out the front. I started running faster towards Raven but I felt like I couldn’t move fast enough. When Ontari took out the sword Raven fell on her knees.

“I told you to kill me Lexa but you didn’t. I told you I’d kill you. I didn’t want to kill your mate; I wanted you but unfortunately she had to pay the price for your mistake. Now, you’ll feel what I felt when I lost my family!”

Anger and hatred coursed through my body and I lunged myself at her but missed. She kicked the horse on his side and the horse backed away from me. “This isn’t over Lexa, I will come for you, believe me, I will,” she said as she turned the horse around and quickly left. I was in so much pain I could barely move but somehow I managed to make it to Raven. She was still alive. I tried picking her up but I couldn’t. Why couldn’t I? That was when I realized that I still had the arrows on my body so I started trying to remove them but I only managed to remove the one that was on my shoulder. When the arrowhead came into view I noticed a particular smell. I sniffed and realized it was poison. “Fucking bitch!” I yelled out. I tried taking out the others but realized I couldn’t. If I took it out, I would bleed and I wouldn’t be able to get Raven help so, all I did was break the arrow and left the arrowhead in my body. With all the strength I could muster I picked up my wife in my arms and started walking back looking for my horse. She had a pulse but it was weak. “Hold on baby girl,” I whispered into her ear. “Hold on for me, ai keryon. You’ll be alright.” I walked for what seemed like hours looking for my horse until I found him dead. Fucking Ontari had killed him. I growled in frustration. I had to walk all the way back to Arkadia. It would take me a few hours since we weren’t close to any trails and we were deep inside the forest but it didn’t matter. “I have to save my wife. Goddess mother, please give me strength to get Raven some help,” I prayed. I felt as my injured leg started getting weak and protesting in pain but still I didn't give up. I couldn’t! Raven was now unconscious for a couple of hours now but she still had a pulse so I felt good about that and with that knowledge, I ignored the pain and continued making my way to Arkaida. It wasn’t until moments later, that Lincoln found me

“Heda, give me Hedatu please so I can take her and you can rest a little,” he pleaded but I didn’t want to let her go.

“No, she’s my wife! Mine! I’ll take her,” I growled back. 

He simply nodded and said, “Okay, just follow me, the rover is just around the bend and we can put her and take her immediately to Abby.” I nodded and continued walking until we came up to the rover and I gently placed her inside while Lincoln radioed Abby and told her to be ready with a gurney and prepare for surgery. 

In record time, we arrived in Arkadia. Abby was waiting and once we got my wife out of the rover, Abby and Jackson quickly took her into the operating room for surgery. Lincoln turned to me and said, “Heda, we need to get those arrowheads out before it gets infected.”

“Okay,” I simply said. My mind was on my wife, ai keryon. I barely registered how we ended up in the med bay as Lincoln had started working on removing the arrowheads. The first one he removed was the one that was lodged into my stomach. When he took it out, I screamed in pain. It hurt so much; it felt like liquid metal was being poured on my wound; a burning sensation. He hurriedly cleaned and disinfected it then he started stitching me up. When he finished, he moved to my leg and repeated the process and then to my shoulder. I was laying on the bed but I tried to get up, and started feeling dizzy so I turned on my side and started throwing up. He helped me to sit up after I finished as he looked at what I threw up and picked up the arrowhead and sniffed. His expression changed to dread as he looked at me. He knew it was poisoned. 

“Heda, the poison. It’s… it’s... There’s no antidote for this poison bu-but Skaikru had sophisticated medicine that could probably help,” he said with hope on his face. “Bu-but it’s been so long inside of you that I don’t know… I don’t know if it can help,” he added.

“Lincoln I know,” I told him with a small knowing smile. “I know what it means but it doesn’t matter if my wife doesn’t make it. If I don’t have her I don’t care what happens to me,” I said holding back my tears. 

“You have to care, Heda, especially for her sake. She will need you, she will need your strength and support… This poison will slowly kill you. It’ll take months; it's a slow killer and given how much time it was inside you…” but he didn’t continue. 

“Do me a favour Lincoln,” I said looking at him seriously. “Don’t mention this to anyone, especially your mate. She and Raven are close. I don’t want anyone to know at least until Abby finishes with Raven, all right,” I said authoritatively. 

“Yes, Heda,” he said bowing his head. 

I waited for what felt like a lifetime. I was in extreme pain, but I ignored it. Lincoln had given me something for the pain. I was in the medical bay pacing back and forth, scared and nervous because I didn't know how she was doing. I kept praying to the goddess to help my mate to pull her through this surgery so that she can be okay. “I can’t live without her mother, please don’t take her from me, please. I need her; she’s my soul, my home, my hearth,” I whispered as I felt tears fall from my eyes. At times, my mind went to Ontari and I started snarling as I remembered what she did. I growled to myself and promised that when Raven had recovered, I’ll go hunting for Ontari and kill her. She will pay, even if it’s the last thing I do. Ontari will die at my hands! As all these thoughts crossed my mind, something kept telling me that everything will change. I kept hearing the voice of the Commanders. They kept saying something but I didn’t want to listen so I kept ignoring them until it turned into a mumble making it more difficult to understand. I knew it was wrong but my mind just kept going to my wife. I just needed her to pull through this and I kept ignoring the tiny voice in my head that kept repeating that I was poisoned and that ultimately I would die. I would be the one to leave her. My fate was already sealed, even though Lincoln expressed that Skaikru medicine may help but it was no guarantee.

From what I knew about this poison it was called the “silent killer” because it did just that. It silently ended the victim’s life. The victim would have pain for a couple of days and then it would go away. A scar like a burnt mark would remain on the affected area but inside the body it would be wreaking havoc. It took about eight to ten months to kill the victim. The first couple of months, the person would feel fine, would feel recovered but internally the body would be slowly dying. The poison would start by slowly invading key organs such as lungs, kidney, liver and finally the brain and the heart. It would start with loss of appetite, severe muscle and body pain, numbness, cramping and stomach pains resulting in vomiting. After, it will cause difficulty in breathing and partial vision loss. When the poison reaches the brain and heart, it will only get more difficult for the victim to function. The victim will start hallucinating and then their heartbeats will start beating slow, followed immediately by fast beating as if you had been running for a long while, then it will slow down again. It will make the victim feel tired most of the time until they wouldn’t have the strength to move and remain on bed rest until the person no longer would be able to breathe and die gasping for air. It was a painful death to say the least. “This is what will happen to me,” I thought to myself. I would leave my wife in a few months. “What will she do when I’m no longer around?” I asked no one, sadness and helplessness coursing through my body when I heard the door open. I turned around and saw Dr. Griffin making her way towards me. I tensed immediately and practically ran to her. “Dr. Griffin, how is she? Is she all right? Can I see her? I want to see her!” I said frantically as Abby just stood there watching me, anguish plain in her eyes.

“Commander, she’s okay for right now, but…” she started.

“But what?” I demanded. 

“Commander, I can’t guarantee that she will pull through this,” she said, bringing down her head and staring at the ground.

“What can you guarantee me?” I asked, already agitated at her non clear responses. 

“Nothing,” she said blankly. She lifted her head and continued, “Jackson and I disinfected and cleaned the wound but we noticed it didn’t stop bleeding. Her blood was not clotting like it should have and so we couldn’t start stitching her up. Every time, her blood appeared to be clotting, it would disintegrate and she’d start bleeding again. I didn’t know why until Jackson took a sample and ran it through the lab, testing it. We found out that she was poisoned. The blade that had penetrated her body must have been laced with poison and it was preventing her blood from clotting. She was hemorrhaging,” she said. 

She must have seen the look of confusion on my face because she said, “She was bleeding to death, basically.”

“Dead?” I asked, already feeling my legs giving out.

“No! No! She’s not dead,” she hurriedly interjected. “We pumped her body with a coagulant agent and antibiotics to help with the clotting and it seemed to work. We’re trying to figure out what the poison is so that we can find an antidote to help her. She’s resting for now.” 

“So I can see her?” I asked, already limping trying to make my way to her but Abby stopped me, “Commander wait, there’s more,” she said. “The blade that pierced her damaged her spinal cord. More than likely, she will not be able to walk again. She will be paralyzed from the waist down. She will be able to move her hands and neck but everything else …” she didn’t continue. She didn’t have to.

I clenched my hands together. My thoughts racing, “How will she manage as a paraplegic? How will she continue on when I’m no longer with her? Oh goddess! Please, help us!,” I prayed to the goddess. 

“Raven is a strong, independent person. This will have a toll not only on her physically but also mentally, Commander. She will need a lot of support and patience from everyone. She will need time to accept her new state, which, I'm sorry to say will be very difficult for her. I know it’s not the ideal outcome; I know you know that,” she finished saying. 

I felt so heartbroken because everything she said was true. Oh Raven! Oh baby girl!

I was in the private room set up by Abby moments later after we had spoken. When I walked in, I was so surprised by what I saw. On the bed was my wife; pale almost white as a result of the blood loss. She looked so weak and fragile and all kinds of machines were attached to her - heart monitor, ventilator, and IV pump. Her breathing was shallow and she looked so weak. I sat beside her and just held her hand in mine and caressed it gently with my thumb. “Baby girl, can you hear me?” I asked, my vision turning blurry from the tears that threatened to fall. I quickly wiped them off, I needed to be strong for her. I had to be her rock, her biggest supporter now. She didn’t move, so I kept talking. “I’m here ai keryon. I’m with you. I won’t leave you. I need you to be strong okay? I need you to wake up cause I need to look into those beautiful brown orbs of yours and tell you how much I love you and how much I need you and that everything will be alright. Come on, baby open those pretty eyes of yours, please,” I pleaded as I continued running my thumb on her skin but she didn’t. I had dozed off and my head lay on the side of the bed when I heard moaning. I quickly darted my head up and saw my wife’s face scrunched out with a frown between her eyebrows as she moaned in pain. “Hey Rae, hey baby girl,” I softly said with a wide smile on my face as she slowly opened her eyes. 

“Hey,” she replied weakly. “I’m sorry, Lex. I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble. I just wanted to be alone for a little while, I didn’t realize I had gotten lost.”

“Hey, no, no, no baby. You are no trouble. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me okay. I’m just so happy that you’re awake now and I can look into those beautiful brown eyes of yours. You’re so beautiful baby girl, you know that? I can never get enough of you, you know that right?” I asked as I caressed her forehead and leaned down to kiss her. It was chaste but sweet. When I backed away a little to see her better, she had a small smile on her face. “You always know what to say Lexa; you’re such a charmer you know. That’s why I fell so easily in love with you alpha.”

Shrugging I said, “I try to be, just for you,” smiling at her. I continued, “Why don’t you rest. I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay but first I have something important to tell you,” she said weakly.

“Yeah? Well, after you’ve rested you can tell me okay? Right now I want you to sleep so you can start healing okay?”

“Yeah, okay. It's just that if I hadn’t gotten lost this never would’ve happened. If only I had hid when I heard the galloping of the horse. I didn’t realize it was her until it was too late and I panicked as I started running till I was out of her line of view and waited for a moment. I came out when I thought she had left, so I made my way out towards the trail again when I heard the horse again and started running again. That’s when I heard you yell for me, so I ran towards your voice thinking that maybe I could outrun her and she’d back away when she saw you but …” she stopped because she began gasping for air.

“Hey, that’s okay. Breathe baby, small breaths okay,” I said nervously. She had already started breathing a little better although she was wheezing slightly. “We’ll talk about it later, just rest okay,” I said as I stroked her forehead with my hand. She just nodded and closed her eyes. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep. I stayed by her side just watching her chest go up and down as she slept even though she was still wheezing a little. I then laid my head again on the side of the bed and fell asleep. 

I woke up to beeping noises and the bed shaking. I stood up quickly and saw as my mate’s body was convulsing and some blood was dripping out of her nose. I stood there frozen for a second when I started yelling for Dr. Griffin. It didn’t take long when the door swung open and Abby and Jackson came in running. 

“Wha-wha-what’s going on?” I asked, trembling.

“She’s convulsing,” Abby answered, not looking up at me as she started examining Raven. 

“Abby! Vitals are dropping! She’s going into cardiac arrest!” Jackson exclaimed as one of the machines let out a long beep. Abby started pushing on Raven’s chest, “1, 2, 3… 1, 2, 3 …”

I backed away giving them space to work until I felt my back hit the wall. Tears started falling uncontrollably from my eyes. “No, no, no, no. I can’t. You can’t die baby! Come on fight! Damn it Raven FIGHT!” I growled out when I heard the machine start beeping again in short beeps. 

“Yeah, that it’s Raven come back. Good girl. Now, stay with me okay,” Abby stated trembling as fear was obvious in her voice. I walked closer and saw that Raven’s head was moving from side to side. “Abby, I’m not gonna make it. I, I ca-can feel it. It’s ha-har-hard to bre-breathe,” Raven said gasping, fighting to breathe. Abby’s eyes glassed over and she looked at me defeatedly.

“She’s … she’s hemorrhaging, Commander. She’s choking on her own blood. I’m sorry, it seems the coagulant isn’t doing it’s job. There’s, there’s nothing more I can do. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she blurted out. 

“I’m sorry is not good enough! You’re a doctor, now do your damn job!” I growled out.

“Lex,” my wife whispered and I looked at her. “St-stop, sh-she does-doesn’t have the faul-fault.” She was gasping for air and blood trickled down her lips.

With the last bit of energy she could muster, my mate spoke, “Don-don’t be afr-afraid.”

“You’re going to be fine, you hear me?” I said vehemently. 

“Heda, she’s losing too much blood,” Abby said as a tear fell from her eye. Raven turned to her and gave her a small smile as Abby just nodded towards her.

“Hey, baby girl, don’t you give up on me,” I pleaded.

“I’m not bu-but you’re gonna hav-have to le-let me go,” she said as tears fell from her eyes.

“No! Never! I’m not letting you go,” I growled out, taking her hands in mine and bringing it to my lips.

“There’s nothi-nothing you can d-do now. Than-thank you for lov-lovi-loving me.,”

“Stay with me ai keryon. I need you,” I cried out.

“I-I love you, al-alpha.”

“Life without you isn’t living, baby girl. It’s torture and I can’t do it so please, please stay with me. Please,” I begged.

“Lexa, be stro-strong fo-for me. Li-live for me,” she said weakly.

“I don’t wanna. I can’t. Raven, I love you,” I said stroking her forehead with my other hand.

“I’ll alw-alwa-always be wi-with you, my soul. You’ll nev-never b-be alo-alone. I-I-lov-love you,” she said as she gave one big gasp and her head fell to the side.

With a trembling voice, Jackson said, “In peace may you leave the shore, in love may you find the next, safe passage on your travels, until our final journey on the ground, may we meet again.”

I screamed. “NO! NO! NO! Come back! Come back ai keryon!” I wailed as I felt myself slowly falling to the ground. I felt as Abby whimpered and tried not to sob as Jackson slowly lifted his hand and closed my wife’s eyes forever. I will never see those brown, soulful eyes again. Suddenly a shooting pain ran all over my body and I doubled over in pain. I knew what it was. Our bond was no longer. The pain was our bond severing. I fought to get air into my lungs. My soul was tearing; I felt it. It was a terrible pain; it felt like millions of sharp stabs all over my body and my heart was shattering into pieces. My heart felt numb; it was now empty. My heart could feel nothing but emptiness now, nothing will ever be the same; nothing will ever matter now. The light had left me, leaving me an empty shell of what I used to be. I had lost my home, my hearth, my soul. Realizing this, I let out a whine and just sobbed on the floor. I sobbed for the love I’d just lost; for the love that I will never have again; for the life that was taken so cruelly from me because I failed to protect it; I failed to protect _her_.

Two days after I lost my wife, Abby informed me that Raven had been six weeks pregnant. The day she went missing, Raven went to her and requested a pregnancy test. She said Raven mentioned that she was having difficulty keeping her food down and she felt nauseous especially in the mornings. I remembered our conversation that morning when I found her laying on the bed. I felt pain all over again. Not only had I lost my wife but also my pup. 

After Raven was laid to rest, I was empty; a shell; a broken shell. I didn’t know how to be anything else. Everything I was before I met her, I became all over again. I became closed off, barely speaking, barely interacting with my people. Clarke and Roan noticed but said nothing. They stayed at Polis for a few days but had to return to Azgeda. Clarke was four months pregnant with their second child and all that travelling took a toll on her, so for both their safety they went back home. Titus and Myra often came to see me but I wasn’t in the mood to entertain them or see their sympathetic looks so I always made up an excuse and left them to retreat to my quarters. 

Two months; it’s been two months since I’ve lost my wife. My quarters became a constant reminder of what I had lost and one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I started thrashing everything I could get a hold of but when I moved into the bedroom I stopped. On the bed was the wolf blanket I had given her and I couldn’t tear it. It reminded me of her so much, of our nights tangled in each other’s arms basking in our love, so I held onto it for a long time just sobbing. I yelled into the air kneeling and sobbing, “WHY? WHY? WHY? Why’d you have to take her away from me, goddess! Why did you have to be so cruel?” Obviously I wouldn’t get answers but nonetheless I furiously asked the air. After I felt like I could move, I stood up and made my way towards our closet and her clothes were still there. I pulled them towards me and inhaled deeply trying to find her scent. It was faint but it was still there - lavender and honey. I saw the brown jacket I had gotten her and brought it down from the hanger and draped it over my chest hugging it tight till I felt something hard. When I searched the inner pockets, I found her set of daggers. I took them in my hands and twirled them. The temptation to just end my life was so strong but I stopped myself. A voice, that of the Commanders resonated in my head, “Not yet Heda. Hedatu’s life must be avenged,” it said. Taking the daggers and placing them on my belt, I nodded my head, “I have to go hunting,” I muttered. 

I spent the next six months searching for any signs of Ontari. I had my warriors investigate whatever clues we came upon. During this time, I had practically abandoned Polis. Titus and the Nightbloods were in charge as I spent days, weeks and months all over the coalition searching for her. I needed to get rid of her and I only had limited time. Those months, I spent it alone in my tent with no one to keep me warm, not that I wanted anyone; I just wanted _her_ and I couldn’t have her. I also spent my ruts alone; it was painful but I welcomed this particular pain - the pain of wanting to be inside my omega, of feeling her tender touches and caresses and her sweet kisses. It was a reprieve from everything else - the loss of appetite and severe muscle pain and numbness. I was dying, but up to now, only Lincoln and I knew the truth. I knew he would keep his word. He’s an honourable man, a wonderful mate to Octavia.

Eight months since Raven had passed away, I returned to Polis, empty handed, vengeance still had not been mine. My people continued respecting me but they had seen how much I had changed and kept their distance. It hurt but it was the best, I kept telling myself. I'm not going to last long. As I entered the throne room, I noticed Titus and Aden engaged in a heated conversation. They didn’t hear me approach. 

“No, Aden. You cannot do anything, you’re not Heda. You’re only a Natblida at this moment,” Titus persisted.

“Flamekeeper, you and I are practically running this mighty ship together! Where’s Heda? She isn’t here! She has changed, an empty vessel pinned on revenge and I get it, I do. I cannot understand and much less comprehend the pain she must be going through but still, she is not here to rule so we must do this together. I cannot enforce this if I don’t have your support and you know this is the right thing to do! If we can accomplish this, then my brothers and sisters will be able to _live_ . Don’t you understand, teacher? They - _we_ will live and not die in the conclave; it will be different, it will be better,” he insisted. 

“What are you talking about Aden?” I asked and watched as both males jumped at the sound of my voice. Aden turned to look at me and began walking directly towards me. As he did, I noticed he had changed; he was no longer a child but a man. The child I first met was no longer. Walking towards me was a man, a leader, a Heda and my chest flared in pride. I knew I had been right when I told the Old Timer that Aden was the most promising of my novitiates. Bowing towards me, he said, “Heda, it's good to see you. Welcome back to Polis. How are you?”

“Fine, thank you Aden. Now please, tell me what support you need from Titus to change the conclave?” I curiously asked.

Clearing his throat, he said, “Well as you know, we have been trying for many years to change the way a Heda ascends. We are this close,” he said pinching his fingers very closely together. “It is the first time that all the clans are in agreement that change is needed. I don’t know what made them change their minds but I for one am glad. All we need to make this change permanent is the Flamekeepers’ support and the current Heda’s approval. I know that Wanheda agrees with us and given her support as well as her mates’ and even the Natblidas’ parent’s approval, a change can be made. We can have a new beginning for all of us! Heda, this is wonderful! Do you have any idea how happy the Nightbloods would be to know that they don’t have to die at the conclave. It is so relieving. I for one, feel exuberant!”

“Aden,” Titus said, “You have the Flamekeepers’ support. You have always had it but all of this will only work when Lexa has taken control of her coalition.” Aden simply nodded. “Can you give us a moment please,” Titus asked him. “I’d like to speak with Heda alone.” Knowing a dismissal when it was given, Aden bowed his head towards me and Titus and made his way to the door. I heard as he gently closed it.

Turning to me, with a look of sadness in his eyes Titus spoke, “Lexa, I have watched you crumble and put yourself together when you lost Costia, but now you have crumbled again and I cannot see those pieces being put back together. I cannot stand in front of you and pretend to know what and how you’re feeling. I know you are lost; I can see it, but, you’re not dead Lexa, you’re alive! I - we, your people need you to become what you were before you lost her. We need your leadership, your guidance,” he pleaded. “If you want to give up on yourself, I cannot stop you but let me tell you something. Even though you think you cannot put yourself back together, you can. Do it for your people’s sake. Raven was proud of you, you know? She believed in you just like your people do. Lexa, she lives on through you. I can see her but she is fading because you’re letting her go. Don’t do it my child, hold on to her, to her love. Do you think she would want to see who you have become? Do you think you honour her love with the way you conduct yourself? You shut everyone around you. You have abandoned your people. ‘The duty to protect your people must come first.’ That’s what you told me many years ago, then you told me that Raven was your first duty and you executed that beautifully. I saw how you loved her, how you doted on your omega, how her eyes would light up when she saw you and how your line of sight would always follow her around. Your love was unique, it was special and no one can take that away. But, she isn’t here anymore, so what do you have left if not your people? Come back to us, Lexa. Be our mighty Heda again, if not for yourself then do it for _her_ , for Hedatu, for your _first duty_.” he finished. There was a gentleness to his tone. 

I looked at him stoically and walked towards the throne and sat. “Old timer, I know you mean well, but, there is something I must tell you. It is time that you learned the truth,” I told him as my gaze was on the floor. He got closer and crouched in front of me. He then took my hands and brought it to his lips and kissed my knuckles. I looked up at him and he had a warm smile on his face.

“My Lexa, you are like my child. You know that you can tell me anything and I will help in any way I can,” he said.

Taking a deep breath and cupping his cheek in my hand I said, “Old timer, you know that when Ontari stabbed Raven, she laced the blade of her sword with poison that ultimately killed my wife. However, she poisoned me as well. Titus, I am dying. I was hit three times. Each arrowhead was laced with ‘The silent killer’ poison.” He gasped, looking at me frantically up and down.

“Only Lincoln knew about this and I asked him to keep it a secret because I knew that if Raven found out, she wouldn’t be able to accept it but now, she’s gone. I only have a couple more months before I succumb to my fate; a fate I am actually looking forward to because it means that I will be reunited with my mate and pup.” He let out another gasp as a tear fell from the corner of his eye. He didn’t know she was pregnant when she died. “It's true, she was six weeks pregnant with my child, Old Timer, so you see, it’s not that I want to be cruel or seem as if I don’t care. It is because I am dying and have already started feeling the effects. But, be that as it may, you are right. I will take control back of the coalition and make the necessary changes so that the Natblidas can live but all I ask is that upon my death, ensure that it is Aden who ascends as Heda, please teacher. All these months that I have been away, don’t think that I didn’t know what was happening. I knew. I had been receiving reports about you and Aden’s rule. You two can work great together; just like you and I. He will be a good leader teacher, don’t abandon him please. Teach him as you have taught me. Make him better than me” I requested as I gently squeezed his shoulder.

Over the next five months, I took control of the coalition. Titus was right, the way I was living before wasn't honouring my wife, me people’s Hedatu; it was the opposite. So I tried to become the Heda I was when I had my wife. I started interacting with my people, I would take walks to the market stalls and see my people, talk with them about their concerns and resolve any matters they had. It was also during this time that we had finally managed to change the conclave and I felt a huge relief pass through me. All the ambassadors had stated that their people wanted the change. It was an unnecessary killing; so with this in mind, the new Heda would be selected based on physical and mental abilities rather than who was the last left alive. It was also during this time that Roan radioed me and we spoke after many months. He told me that his pup was now four months old and she was beautiful. 

“I’m happy for you Boy Scout. How’s your little girl?” I asked.

“Good. She has brown eyes. Abby’s eyes Clarke says and brown hair like mine,” he said chuckling. 

“Yeah? She sounds beautiful. What’s her name?” I asked.

There was silence for a moment until he spoke again.

“Clarke and I decided to name her Raven. I hope that is alright with you,” he stated hesitantly. “It’s just that she reminds us of her, you know. Brown eyes and brown hair.”

“I-I. Of course it’s okay. Thank you, my brother, for giving her that name. I’m honoured. I think it suits her and I haven’t even met her,” I said as a tear fell from my eye. 

“You should come to Azgeda Axel when you have time. I know Clarke would be happy to see and so would I,” he said.

“I will. As soon as I can, I’ll make it out there okay,” I said knowing that I would never reach. 

I was dying. Things were getting more difficult for me. I had already lost more of my appetite, I was a little thinner, even training had become difficult for me. All my body ached even more than before. There were times when my arms and legs went numb and I had to sit down and rest because I was also getting tired more often. There were days when just the thought of getting out of bed was hard work but I never complained, I couldn’t appear weak before my people, at least not yet. My breathing and sight had already started to give me trouble. There were times when I thought I saw _her_. She was always smiling at me. She had her red jacket on; the same jacket she wore the first time I met her and her hair was in a ponytail. The first time I saw her was in my bedroom. It was mid morning and I had just come out of the bathroom when I saw her standing by bed. As I walked towards her, the glare of the sun hit my eyes and I closed them for a moment and when I opened them she was gone. Goddess, how beautiful and breathtaking she was. How I missed her! How I missed her scent. There were times when I saw her and she was saying something but I couldn’t understand. I just saw her mouth moving but the words sounded muffled. I knew it was the poison. It caused hallucinations. Titus saw the changes and it made him sad. There were times when I saw him wipe his eyes when he thought he was alone and it broke my heart to see him like that. Times when I could barely get out of bed, he would take over my duties, claiming that I was training or meditating. He was also secretly training Aden, getting him ready for when I was no longer with them.

I couldn’t understand how I was still alive. At this rate, I had lived a little more than a year with the poison inside me. I had lived longer than anyone I knew. It had been exactly one year and one month that I had lived with the poison inside me; one year and one month that I had lost my wife but no matter the physical and emotional pain, I continued surviving, not living, just surviving; holding a little more longer.

It was the following month that I understood why I held on so long. It was on a chilly autumn mid morning while sitting on my throne that one of my warriors came to see me and said that there were reports of a person matching the description of Ontari spotted around TonDC. He informed me that Indra had already ordered some of the Triku warriors to search for her. I felt a chill run throughout my spine and I felt this immense desire like an instinct telling me that I needed to go to TonDC, that maybe this was finally the moment that I will avenge my wife, that her soul will find rest. I had pain, numbness and I could barely put one foot in front of the other but I managed. I dug deep down inside and ignored all the pain I was feeling and went to get ready. I had both my swords sheathed on my back. I wore her brown jacket and her daggers were placed securely around my belt. I finished putting on my armour and walked out of my quarters not bothering to look back for fear that I might see her. I got to the stable and mounted my horse as Titus appeared beside me. He gave me a canteen, “It’s for the pain. Make sure to drink it so that the pain lessens,” he said and I nodded my head. “When I get back, Old Timer, everything will have been prepared, right?” I asked him referring to the conclave that will take place. He knew what I meant and simply nodded sadly as he said, “When this is over, your soul and hers will be at rest.” He had a sad look on his face. I simply nodded and rode out. I looked back as my horse exited the gates of Polis and saw my house for the last time; not my home, my house - my residence only. It was my home when I had my mate with me. Raven was my home.

My warriors and I arrived at TonDC the following afternoon. It had been a long journey, a journey I had made many times but because of my state, I found it arduous and exhausting but still, I didn’t show my warriors how defeated I felt, how weak I was. 

When I arrived, I met with Indra inside my tent that had already been set up by my warriors. She informed me that it had indeed been confirmed that it was Ontari. Her warriors had been tracking her for the past three days, but she was elusive. As soon as they thought, they had her trapped she disappeared. She showed me a map of the area and all the spots Ontari had been seen. I studied the map for a while, noting that I had been around this area often when I was Anya’s second. There were some boulders that had a man made tunnel bored into them that exited by a river close by. I knew that was the reason they couldn’t locate her but I said nothing. I wanted to find her all by myself. We stayed the entire afternoon planning strategies until past sunset when I decided I had had enough. I was extremely tired and full of pain, my breathing was a little laboured and I could feel a little wheezing building in my chest. 

I was alone in my tent when I heard my guard talking to someone outside. He then entered as said Octavia was requesting an audience. I told him to let her in. I hadn’t seen her in over a year. 

“What can I do for you Octavia?” I asked weakly because of the pain. 

“I saw your expression when you were studying the map Indra gave you. Your eyebrow wrinkled a little and you scratched your nose. You recognize the place don’t you?” she asked.

“You think I know this place just because I wrinkled my eyebrow and scratched my nose?” I asked amusedly. 

“Yes,” she simply said.

“And how did you come to such a conclusion?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

“Raven,” she answered.

All this time I wasn’t looking at her but when she mentioned my wife’s name I looked directly into her eyes and I saw that she was telling the truth. 

Sensing that I wanted to know how, she simply said, “Rae had told me that when something caught your attention and you were intrigued, surprised or trying to hide something from her, you’d often wrinkle your eyebrow and unconsciously scratch your nose. It’s how she knew when you were trying to hide something from her especially all the gifts you’d give her. The surprise dinners and the flowers you’d shower her with. All the doting. She knew Heda; she knew how much you loved her. She told me. She said that no one had ever loved her the way you do. You were the best thing that ever happened to her and to start a family with you was a dream come true. I knew she was pregnant. She told me. She was so excited and so happy she couldn’t contain herself. I think that’s why she left Arkadia that night. She was feeling overwhelmed and wanted to be alone with her thoughts but then… then everything happened.”

I looked at her not knowing what to say so I just nodded my head and gave her my back as a tear fell from the corner of my eye. 

“So how come she’s so elusive that our best trackers can’t find her?” she asked after a while.

Not looking back at her I said, “The boulders have man made tunnels bored into them lead to a river nearby.”

“Okay, well we can search there tomorrow and finally get that fucking bitch!” she growled. 

Early the next day, I woke up and I felt a caress down my spine. As quickly as I could I turned around to see my mate beside me. 

“Baby girl, you’re here?” I asked, trying to stretch my hand to touch her but I couldn’t. It hurt too much. She just smiled at me and said nothing. I saw as she stretched out her hand and gently stroked her thumb over my cheek. I could barely feel it. I closed my eyes at how soft her touch felt. When I opened my eyes, she was gone. I whined and wondered if this was a hallucination or if it was real. I didn’t have the time to think about it, I told myself. As best as I could, I got out of bed and got ready. When I walked out of my tent, Lincoln had been waiting for me. He bowed and handed me a canteen. “Flamekeeper Titus radioed last night and asked that I get this tea ready for you. It will help with the pain. I’ll have a fresh brew for you tonight so that you could rest,” he said. I thanked him and took the canteen, opened it and started sipping the tea. After a few moments, I felt the pain diminishing, a little at a time. 

Later that day, about mid morning, my warriors and I had surrounded the entire area, hiding behind bushes all around to wait for her to emerge from inside the boulder. We waited for a long time but she didn’t show up. I was already getting frustrated and tired. The pain was returning and by the position of the sun I estimated that it was mid afternoon. I figured she’d not show up so I called for a retreat and ordered my warriors to spread all over the area and look for signs of recent movement. Something was telling me that she knew we were watching her, that's why she didn’t show herself. After a while, with no signs of Ontari, I ordered my warriors to call it a day and told them we can start fresh tomorrow. We started making our way back towards TonDC. A little after arriving, I secretly exited my tent and made my way back towards the boulder. As I got closer, I noticed tracks that weren’t there a while ago. I followed them noting that it led to the tunnel. When I emerged on the other side it was almost sunset and Ontari was waiting for me.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to come back, Lexa. It seems I didn’t have to wait long,” Ontari said, sneering at me, sitting on top of a small boulder by the river bank. 

I just stood there watching her. All the memories of that night came flooding back to me and I felt anger and hatred course through my body; it was the fuel I needed to end this. One way or the other, tonight, Ontari would die! I started walking towards her as I pulled my two swords from their sheath that was attached on my back, but goddess, I was in pain. My limbs felt numb and holding onto two heavy swords weren’t helping. Giving up was not an option though. Ontari made her way towards me with a sword in her hand. Swinging it midair she said, “She wasn’t my target but when I saw her, I saw an opportunity to ensure you felt how I felt when I lost my family.”

“Everything you did had a purpose Ontari, so don’t stand there and try to justify yourself. You took everything from me,” I snarled out.

“It doesn’t feel good does it Lexa? Well, that’s exactly how I felt when I was left alone after my parents were killed. You took everything away from me. Payback’s a bitch!” she growled as she jumped midair swinging her sword towards me. I easily ducked her swing and started swinging both swords towards her trying to cut her as much as I could, but Ontari was indeed a skilled fighter. She easily outmaneuvered all my swings. The muscles in my arms were protesting, numbness was already creeping up to my shoulders and holding both swords became painful. My breathing came in gasps and when I tried to catch my breath, I could hear my chest wheezing. All of this affected my concentration and my vision was becoming blurry. I was dying, I could feel it. 

“Give up already Lexa! Look at yourself. You can barely raise your arms and I can hear how difficult it is for you to breathe. You know, honestly I thought that by now you’d already been dead. I didn’t expect for you to last this long,” she stated proudly, grinning at me. 

“Well, Ontari, that makes two of us,” I said smiling. “But, maybe that’s because it was my fate to end your life before I die,” I growled, advancing towards her with my swords. I swung both of them and started twirling. I swung one sword at arm’s length and the other at knee’s length, gaining momentum to produce a heavier, faster swing so that I could cut her but she deflected and knocked one sword out of my hand. I grunted as the action caused pain to shoot up my arm. With all the pain I was experiencing, I failed to move as she thrusted her sword and cut my leg. I grunted as I felt it cut through flesh and I slumped down a little on my good leg. With my other sword, I slowly lifted myself. My vision was blurry, I could make out her outline but I couldn’t see where she was swinging her sword. I temporarily closed my eyes and asked the goddess to give me a little more strength to finish this when I felt as her sword pierced my right side going into my lower ribs and exiting on my left shoulder, puncturing my lung. I yelled out in pain and fell to the ground on all fours choking on my own blood as I felt blood spill from my lips and my lung felt like it was on fire. The fucking bitch had laced her sword with poison. 

“Well, well,” Ontari teased a few feet from where I was. “Look at the mighty Commander, Lexa Kom Triku slumped over, taking her final breaths. Once, you’re dead Lexa, no one will remember you. You will pass into history as no more than another sad story,” she said, a roaring laughter followed. I slowly lifted my head and for a moment, my vision cleared and I saw _her_. I saw my wife, smiling at me standing by the river bank. With newfound energy, I quickly stood up, ignoring the pain and took out the bird head dagger and threw it directly towards Ontari’s heart, praying that my aim was true. I heard a thud, as metal met bone. She fell on her knees, grunting in pain. I then walked slowly towards her and knelt in front of her and pushed the dagger deeper into her chest as I unsheathed the wolf head dagger and swung it with all the force I could muster and let it sink on the side of her head just above her ear. She slumped towards me and I pushed her away as she collapsed, dead.

“It’s done, baby girl,” I whispered towards the sky. “I will see you soon, my love,” I said as I got up and started limping away. My vision had turned blurry again. My entire body ached and I could barely breathe. Blood was spilling from my mouth and nose now. How I managed to make it back on the other side and emerge back in the forest, I didn’t know. But I did. I took a couple of steps heading back to TonDC before my legs gave out and I collapsed on the ground. Even though my vision was blurry, I could still make out the green of the forest, the colour of the setting sun and hear the songs of birds. I lay there for a long time, just staring blankly at the sky and noticed how the orange and yellows of the sky slowly faded to dark but the darkness didn’t last long as the moonlight decided to make its appearance. I was cold, barely breathing. The taste of blood had pooled all inside my mouth and I could feel as it trickled down from my nose and lips down to my cheeks. 

I am alone surrounded only by moonlight and I am ready. I can still feel the pain, my breadths come in slow gasps but I feel happy, for the last five years of my life have been the happiest and saddest. Three years and ten months. That's how long I had with my wife before she was taken from me. The last year and two months have been the worst, but now it's over. I am happy because it's only a matter of time before I will leave this world and be reunited with the love of my life. I will be home, I will have my hearth to keep me warm and my soul will finally be at peace. 

Suddenly, I hear footsteps approaching me from a distance. I turn my head towards the sound. I can see a clearing, similar to the one in my dream many years ago. I can see a figure coming towards me but I can’t make it out. The figure seems to emit its own light. I feel apprehensive but not scared. I keep my eyes trained on this figure as it comes towards me closer and closer until I notice it is the figure of a woman. It’s _her_ , it’s _my mate_ , it’s _Raven_!

When she finally reaches me, she crouches down, stroking my forehead. Her touch feels lovingly warm. She says, “Hey alpha! I’ve been waiting for you for a long time you know.” The sound of her voice is like music to my ears. How I’ve missed her! My vision is no longer blurry. All the pain I’ve been feeling is gone. I can breathe again, it's like I am cured. I can clearly see her soulful brown eyes, her lips are curled up in a big smile and she looks so beautiful, so stunning, so alluring, all encompassing.

“Hey baby girl, how come you’ve only gotten more beautiful?” I ask. 

“Charming as ever huh Lex.” she says, rolling her eyes. I’ve missed that, those were good times, I reminisce.

“I’ve missed you,” I whisper to her. 

“I’ve missed you too. Come on, get up. It’s time to go, I’ll walk you home,” she says as she lifts her head and looks at the dark sky. “It’s getting late. What do you say we leave this place huh baby?,” she asks, already standing up and stretching her hand so she can help me get up.

“Okay,” I simply reply as I reach out to her and feel the softness and warmth of her skin. Now that we are face to face I pull her towards me and feel as she wraps her arms around my neck. I bury my face into the crook of her neck and inhale deeply. Her scent is so alluring, so beckoning. My alpha that has been asleep for more than a year suddenly wakes up and I can hear her purring in my head. I start kissing her neck, nipping her claiming bite. I hear as she moans and her arms tighten around my neck. “Babe, what are you doing?” she asks playfully.

I say nothing but smile into her neck as I continue kissing her. I make my way towards her chin, cheek and finally her lips. I feel as her plump lips attach to mine, a grin on her face as I plunge my tongue inside her mouth. I hear her moan as she pulls herself gently away from me while cupping my cheeks. “My love, not that I’m complaining, but we have to go,” she says smiling at me. Returning her smile I say, “Lead the way, ai keryon.” 

She takes my hand in hers and we start walking towards the same direction she came. As we walk in comfortable silence surrounded by dark night, only the moonlight present, holding hands she turns to me and says, “There’s someone very special I want you to meet. Someone who's also been waiting a long time to see you Lex,” she says as she caresses my cheek with her thumb. “I can’t wait,” I reply, lifting her hand to my lips and placing a kiss on her knuckles. Without her, everything felt wrong, but now, I know I’ll never be alone again. We continue walking until we reach a clearing. In the moonlight, I can see it is a garden; full of beautiful flowers. They are red, blue, yellow, violet, green, and pink in colour. A little further down I see a cottage. It is small but quaint. I can see light coming from the inside the windows. It looks homey. It is white in colour with a bright red door and matching window sills. There is smoke coming out of the chimney - a warm fire. As we get closer I feel Raven slows down and holds my hand. “You ready babe?” she asks grinning at me. “Yes,” I answer with my own grin as well. She nods her head and opens the door. Standing by the fireplace is a woman with black hair, a moon crescent crown on her head wearing a white dress and in her arms she’s cradling a baby about six months old. When she looks up I see her beautiful silver eyes. 

“Alexandra, welcome home,” she says smiling warmly. 

“Thank you mother,” I simply answered back. 

“Come here. I think this little angel wants to see you. She has been waiting a long time for you,” she says as she rocks the baby in her arms. Confused I walk closer to Selene and I see a baby snuggly wrapped up in the softest looking blanket ever made. When the baby looks up at me, I’m taken aback. A pair of green eyes look back at me but the edges of her irises are tinted with brown wrapping beautifully around the green. She has brown wavy hair like mine and her smile is Raven's. My wife places her hand on my shoulders and says, “Meet your daughter my soul.”

Tears spill from my eyes, “Oh my! Oh my! My pup! She’s so beautiful,” I say excitedly as I stretch my arms silently asking to hold her. Mother gently places my pup in my arms as my child coos and smiles. She extends her small chubby hand to touch my cheek and her touch is so soft and tender and she has a sweet baby smell.

“Hello there my precious baby,” I say tenderly. “I’m your nomon and I am so happy to finally meet you,” I say as I lift her towards me and kiss her on her forehead as my tears fall on her. I look towards my wife, “Thank you, ai keryon. You have given me a beautiful daughter,” I say as I walk towards her and pull her to me. Mother places her hands on my shoulder and I look at her. “Welcome home, my daughter. Your soul is finally at peace. You have rebuilt your home, you now have a hearth to warm your cold nights and you are now with your mate and pup. It is time for love and happiness to fill your heart. It is time now to enjoy your world,” she said looking at my pup and wife.

“Thank you mother. I feel so happy I can’t explain it,” I tell her, smiling widely.

She just smiles and places a kiss on my forehead and walks out of our home and gently closes the door. 

“You’re home babe. From now on the three of us will be together, loving each other always,” my mate says as she wraps one of her arms around my waist and with her other hand she caresses our child’s head. I lean my forehead against her, “I’m finally home,” I say.

* * *

**Titus POV**

Lexa’s body was found in the Triku forest near TonDC that same night. No one knew she was gone until one of her warriors entered her tent taking her dinner. He alerted Indra and immediately the warriors started searching for her. Octavia and Lincoln were the ones who found her. They figured she would return to that same place, so that’s the first place they went to. Lincoln entered the tunnel and emerged on the other side and saw Ontari’s dead body near the river with a wolf head dagger stuck in her head and a bird head dagger stuck directly in her heart. He removed the daggers and when they brought her body back, he handed me the daggers. I took them and pressed them to my chest. That night, in Myra’s arms I cried like a little boy. I cried for the daughter I lost, for the child I saw grow to become one of the fiercest warriors with a heart of gold who loved so passionately; who was so in love with her wife, you did not give up when she had nothing left, when the light left her life. She was unique. There will never be another like her. She was special. She was the uniter of our people, the ender of wars and the bravest Commander who was not afraid of change, no; Lexa embraced change, she welcomed it and that made her more precious. 

Lexa’s body was placed on a pyre and burnt. At the funeral, almost all of the coalition seemed to be present. All the ambassadors were present, people from all over the clans made the special journey to Polis to pay their respects to their Heda. Abby, Lincoln, Octavia, Indra among others were present as well as Roan and Clarke, along with their family made the journey to Polis. After, her remains were collected and buried next to her wife. 

The conclave was set two days after the funeral and I kept my promise to Lexa. I ensured that Aden ascended as Heda. During the ascension ceremony that took place in the throne room one week after the conclave, as Aden’s body was accepting the flame that held the Spirit of the Commanders a gentle autumn breeze filled the room. When he opened his eyes, he stood up and recited the lineage of the past Commanders. Having successfully merged with the flame, Aden became the new Heda. 

Aden, then walked towards the throne and stood in front of it as everyone in the room knelt, welcoming him and acknowledging his authority. It was at this precise moment when a gust of wind blew inside the room carrying with it the scent of fresh rain and pine mixed with the sweet smell of lavender and honey. I gasped, recognizing the scents immediately. I heard Aden’s breath hitch as Clarke whimpered and Roan cleared his throat. I kept kneeling as a lone tear fell from my eye. 

After the ceremony, there was a grand feast. My mate and I were talking to Clarke and Roan. 

Clarke was the first one to address what happened. “So, that scent that came with the wind during Aden’s ascension was Lexa and Raven right? You all smelt it?” she asked looking at each of us. 

“Yes, Clarke it was them. I think that they came to let us know that we aren’t alone. They will always be with us,” I said sadly as I recalled the smell. Myra just squeezed my hand gently to give me strength and comfort which I greatly appreciated. 

I saw as her head dipped down and then I heard a sniffle. I knew my words had affected her. It had affected all of us. Roan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and cradled her head on his shoulder as he said, “I know my love. I know you miss them, we all do. But they are together now and that should make us happy. They are no longer suffering and I choose to believe that they will always look out for us.” She just nodded and held on tighter to him.

A couple of days after Aden’s ascension I walked towards the tower heading for the throne room ready to serve my Heda, taking in my hands a gift for him. Two special daggers, a bird and wolf head designed to protect him. As I enter the throne room, I see him standing in the balcony overlooking Polis.

“Heda,” I say to him.

“Out here teacher,” he replies.

I make my way towards him and hand him my gift. 

“What is this, teacher?” he asks, taking the gift in his hands and opening it. 

“This belonged to Hedatu Raven then to Heda Lexa. It is a set of daggers that Lexa had gotten her mate as a present. This one,” I say taking the bird head dagger in my hand, “is special. This protected Lexa’s life when Ontari attacked her after she killed Nia. And this one,” I say taking the wolf head dagger, “was the final blow that ended Ontari’s life as Lexa finally avenged her wife. I think that Lexa would be happy if you carry it now to protect yourself. They are special, unique, especially designed for Commanders don’t you think?” I ask him.

He takes it and examines each one appreciating their intricate design. Then, he secures it to his belt on his waist. 

“It is my honour and privilege to carry with me a piece of them, teacher. Thank you,” he said, sincerity in his eyes. 

“You’re welcome Heda. Now, let us get to work shall we?” I say patting him on the shoulder and giving him a warm smile which he returns. “Indeed, teacher. Let us begin!” he said. 

One month after giving Aden the daggers, I am standing before Lexa’s resting place. “Hey Lexa. It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to you. I don’t know if you can hear me but I choose to believe that you do,” I say looking around to see if anyone could hear me. After I make sure no one is around I continue, “You were right in choosing Aden as your successor. He is so much like you, it's scary. Sometimes, he walks like you and even talks like you. Sometimes I see him lost in thought trying to figure out how to process a certain situation and I can see you through his eyes. I don’t know if it is because of the flame or if it’s uniquely him.”

Taking a deep breath I continue saying, “We aren’t perfect Heda and we have problems. I guess that is human nature. But, just like you I can see the wisdom in Aden’s eyes. He approaches our people with compassion and love. He encourages them to tell him their problems and does his best to resolve them and make our people happy. I can also see the strength he possesses as he tries to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders just like you did when you were his age. He will do good Lexa. We will not only survive, but we will live and thrive because of what you taught him. Thank you for believing in him, my child. Thank you for showing us that the wisdom to learn, the compassion to assuage the fears of others and the strength to change is all it takes to make the world a better place. I will talk to you soon okay?” I finish saying as I get up and walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was Lexa's story. I hoped you'll enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I know that in the tags I put "sad ending" but I wanted to portray Lexa's death as a happy beginning and not a sad end and I hope I did.
> 
> Moving on, like I said in the beginning, this is my first time writing a fic and I was nervous about posting it. I had played with this story for the last three months but I finally found the courage to post it and honestly I'm super happy that people like it. It means a lot to me! :)
> 
> So, once again THANK YOU, THANK YOU! for giving me and Five years a chance.

**Author's Note:**

> So, let me know what you think. Is it good? You'll like it?  
> Thanks for reading. I'll try to update soon but maybe it will be like once a week.


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